March 16, 2010
Jersey Fouls is our ongoing exploration of the rules and etiquette for proper hockey jersey creation and exhibition. If you spot what you think may be a foul in your arena, email a photo to us at firstname.lastname@example.org for inclusion in future installments.
No, no and maybe, because we are dealing with D.C. here; but the point is that this "Borrowed Legend" Jersey Foul is something we've seen on more than one occasion in the NHL.
The Mario Lemieux Chicago Blackhawks sweater, provided by Scott A., is even more atrocious. Not only because the Blackhawks have, oh, a few Hall of Fame players in their history worthy of a jersey, but because Mario won the Conn Smythe in the 1992 Stanley Cup finals when the Pittsburgh Penguins owned the Blackhawks in a 4-game sweep.
Is this some kind of perverse hockey masochism?
(Coming Up: An even more nauseating Canucks Foul; Fedorov Frankenjersey; a brutal Boston Foul; Canadian Olympic malarkey; fun with numbers; Patrick Kane's(notes) lady; the only clever No. 69 jersey you'll ever see; and somebody who really, really, really hates the Buffalo Sabres.)
And here ... we ... go.
From the Cradle of Fouls, comes the latest example of why Washington D.C.'s average household income is entirely too high. From Adam S.:
As a longtime hockey fan transplanted to DC from Minnesota I am continually amazed by the complete disregard for the rules at the Verizon Center. You'll certainly see a few fouls at the X, but Caps fans demonstrate a unique creativity when creating jerseys and they don't disappoint when it comes to fouls.
This abomination was witnessed at the Feb. 5 contest vs. the Thrashers. At least it's not a direct affront to the hockey gods that references an imminent cup win. Either way, it's certainly a foul. Was it a dare? A lost bet? A tribute to a long lost love? Regardless, it's a little creepy. The question remains, when are DC fans going to realize that a jersey is not a personalized license plate? The answer unfortunately, is probably not anytime soon.
This is true. Although we have to admit that Verizon Center is an invaluable pipeline for this ongoing feature. Speaking of which ...
Now, I am a BIG fan of both teams, and really like what they did, is this really a Jersey Foul? The nice young lady was kind enough to pose for the pics for me after the game.
The colors sync up quite nicely, actually, and Feds did wear No. 91 in both cities. What say you: Acceptable Frankenjersey?
1. The fact that Sea Bass became a star after he left the Canucks is indisputable and not exactly a point of pride for many Vancouver fans.
2. Neely never wore this style of jersey with the Canucks.
3. Neely wasn't No. 8 in Vancouver, either.
Fail. Fail fail fail fail fail. Fail. Thanks to Puck Buddy Brad R. for this abomination.
Speaking of abominations, our old buddy Ritch D. from American Hockey Fan offers yet another tarnishing of an iconic jersey, from Newark:
This kid was sitting behind the bench at last night's Bruins/Devils game, and we caught up to him in the Ice Lounge.
I could forgive the Red Sox hat and maybe that's his name, but the number 4?
I don't even like seeing a Bobby Orr Jersey from an era he didn't played in.
But you see this, and HE'S FROM BOSTON, HE'S WEARING A SOX HAT, so shouldn't he know better?
You see this and you wonder if he picked the No. 4 because it was the number of times he'd heard the word hockey.
Ouch. Oy, these kids today, with their hair and their rap music and their J Wu Bobby Orr jerseys ... get off my lawn!
The latest in a long line of Bunny-ish Jersey Fouls in which female fans declare their matrimonial affection to NHL players.
Although, for the record, Patrick Kane does keep a stack of these with him on the road in case it gets chilly inside the limo.
Thanks to Puck Buddy Missy for the snap.
You can't really make it out too well, but this Atlanta Thrashers "UnkaBubba" jersey inspired Laura A. to write the following:
At the Atlanta Thrashers/Toronto Maple Leafs game, I spotted this gem in the CNN Center getting a beer - unfortunately for him, they don't have Natty Light on tap. It's kind of blurry because I had to stealth take it, but he's wearing a Thrashers jersey with "UnkaBubba" and 13 on the back. Because when I think Slava Kozlov(notes), I think of chaw and collard greens.
I'm not from ATL, but I am a Thrashers fan (surrogate team after the Blues) - stuff like this just mortifies me, though it explains why Southern hockey has such a stellar rep.
Now, to be fair, "Vyacheslav Kozlov" may in fact translate to "UnkaBubba" in certain parts of Eastern Europe. We have Dmitry on the case.
Yet another Foul from lovely Vancouver (from what I can remember ... it's hazy). From Anthony S.:
You know those guys who are at the game only to be seen at the game loudly talking on their blackberries about the Henderson account? There you go. And he took Luongo's number.
If you're a suit who's wearing a jersey that reads CEO ... better just leave the suit on.
Keeping with Roberto Luongo(notes) for a moment, an Olympic Jersey Foul captured by Andrew R. on the streets of Vancouver. It reads "luonGO CANADA," which is actually pretty clever ... for a 9-year-old with a crayon sign at the game.
Staying with the Olympic spirit ...
Here's a Frankenjersey that makes our heads explode. From Tim W.:
Attached is a photo a friend just send me from Vancouver. His wife, Cindy, is wearing the USA jersey and she's sitting next to some clown in something that should not have been ever made.
The real problem is that the right side is always accusing the left side of whining, while the left side is always accusing the right side of leaving his skates on reckless hits ...
Anyone else hungry for nachos for some reason?
From Puck Buddy Jeremy P. comes this cinema-inspired Foul.
Yet if Clooney was wearing it, total pass. Clooney > Jersey Fouls. It's just a fact of life.
This No. 69 jersey is remarkable because (a) it's not too lewd to publish, as is the case with the majority of them and (b) because we feel some level of comedic respect for the self deprecation here. From Jordan E.:
Spotted this beauty at last night's Coyotes-Flames game. You've run through the meme pretty thoroughly, but figured this was worth including. Given this guy's size (not well expressed in the picture), it's not surprising his lack of skill.
Eh, he's just setting the bar low. Classic guy tactic.
And finally ...
This is "Hockey Bash," who wrote in and said "since Sabres fans overtake the TBLightning games, I got sick of it and had to revolt ..."
Well, "revolt" is about right.
Now, the dead Buffaslug on the front deserves our admiration because it strikes a blow for all that is good and just for puckheads. (We always suspected those buggers bled yellow.) Maybe this works as a Protest Jersey; maybe you think it's an abomination.
Just know this: "Hockey Bash" is so dedicated to the Foul that there's a 2007 YouTube video dedicated to Sabres hate:
In nothing else, we applaud your commitment. And one day, will applaud when you're committed ...