December 22, 2011
In what's turning out to be a very busy December for Brendan Shanahan, the Marshall Moo Montana of the NHL has flashed his badge once again, suspending Derek Engelland 3 games for his hit on Marcus Kruger.
Here's Shanny, breakin' it down:
All the standard Shanaban tropes apply here. Engelland has not been fined or suspended during his three seasons, which earns him mercy. However, Kruger has been diagnosed with a concussion, with effectively negates said mercy.
This one's all about the hit, then, which was oh so close to being clean before Engelland took to the skies. Here's your pivotal quote:
Although Engelland has Kruger lined up for what could be potentially be a clean, full, bodycheck, his elevation and launch upon impact as well as the way Engelland forcefully drives his hands and arms up and into the fce area makes this, in our eyes, a recklessly targeted shot to Kruger's head.
In other words: the next time you come across the ice to make a clean hit, keep it clean by leaving your skates on the ice and maybe don't drive your forearm through the victim's face, bro.
You can really hurt a guy that way. Lucky for you it's Kruger, who, as everyone knows, can only be truly hurt if you can get someone to wake you up while you're holding onto him, thereby dragging him out of the dream.
For the amateur accountants among us, Engelland will forfeit $9,189.18 to the Players' Emergency Christmas catering fund or whatever.