July 21, 2008
In the most frightening split of personalities since Harvey Dent refused his pain medication, it's MALSBY; proving to the world that combining the Wonder Twin powers of Pittsburgh Penguins stars Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin produces ... er, Paul Coffey?
Wrap Around Curl had this image, via Jenn from I Mean, We Got Guys ..., and color us baffled. Sure, it's better than a "Maklin" jersey. But why would someone do this? How indecisive do you have to be to combine two players on the same jersey?
We're pretty sure there isn't some kid in Edmonton running around in a "Kurretzky" jersey; and if there's a "St. Louvalier" sweater in Tampa, we may begin seriously questioning whether humanity, as a whole, has the prudent judgment to survive another century on this planet.
Yet following the revelation of this monstrosity, a rather wonderful thing has happened on Wrap Around Curl: There's an impromptu reader contest in which other combined teammate names have been created. We're willing to forgive MALSBY if its folly begets "BoyLov" (Brian Boyle + Alexander Frolov) and "TootHol" (Jordin Tootoo + Scott Nichol). The Puck Daddy readership must have something to contribute to this new sensation, no?
As for MALSBY, part of our trauma comes from the fact that this would be an unstoppable force in the NHL: Crosby with a pure goal-scorer's touch, Malkin with passing sonar; Crosby without the whining, and Malkin with pouty, bee-stung lips.