Shutdown Corner - NFL

Chad Ochocinco(notes) got on a conference call today with the New York press in advance of the Bengals-Jets game on Sunday night. It was, in the words of a New York Daily News writer, "perhaps the single greatest player conference call of all time."

The Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver held court on everything from marriage to boxing to his eagerness to get fined to a touchdown celebration that might put all his previous ones to shame. Courtesy of The Jets Stream blog at the Daily News site, we present the five best Ochocinco lines from his virtuoso verbal performance:

5. "Bart [Scott] is pretty cool. I think he better keep his talking to a minimum because I'll hit him in the mouth Sunday."

Ochocinco then jokingly reiterated how serious he was about the aforementioned mouth-hitting and said he'd happily take any fine that results from it. Ochocinco fined? The heck you say!

4. "This is how you rate a great corner: Rex Ryan is extremely comfortable leaving Darrelle Revis(notes) on an island by himself. That makes Darrelle Revis one of the best in the game. It's all about how you make your coordinator feel. If your coordinator's comfortable like that, that's how you rate people as great corners."

Ochocinco is mostly talk, but he isn't all talk. As he showed on HBO's Hard Knocks, he's a student of the game who cares deeply about football, not just his own stats. When the Bengals struggled in 2007 and 2008, Ochocinco's act grew a bit stale because nobody wants to hear a guy on a bad team talk about himself all the time. It's back to being funny because the Bengals are playing well and his incessant chatter comes across more as jovial self-promotion rather than relentless narcissism. Plus, with quotes like this you see that underneath all the bluster, Ocho knows what he's talking about. That's one of the main reasons I like him so much.

3. On his planned touchdown celebration: "I have one that is going to be so good. Everybody listening? You know the guy in the stands with the fireman hat (Fireman Ed) that quiets the stadium? OK, I have my own fireman hat made, but it doesn't say Jets. It's a Bengals fireman hat. When I score, I'm going to sit on top of the goal post and then I'm going to quiet the stadium like he does and I want everybody in the stadium to say, well there not going to say the Bengals, but everybody will get the point of what I'm trying to do."

Here's hoping Ochocinco can get Revis to leave that island for at least one touchdown catch.

2. "A lot of people will talk about the Pro Bowl. 'Chad you didn't make the Pro Bowl.' I don't care. What I think of the Pro Bowl, I've been there and done that. It's like being married for 30 years. Once you've been married for so long, (expletive deleted) you get tired of it. Right (laughter)? Excuse me. Excuse my language and for those who are married. No offense (laughter)."

This came after a question about how good it is to make the playoffs. The Pro Bowl is a joke. It cracks me up that people get so up in arms about the selections (like Washingtonians about the London Fletcher snub) all while readily admitting that the only thing more meaningless than Pro Bowl berths is the Pro Bowl game itself.

1. "Look here, me and Revis is better than (Manny) Pacquiao and (Floyd) Mayweather. Period. Case closed. I don't care what anybody is doing Sunday night. If you don't tune in to the game Sunday, you have no life. You have no life."

And with that, Ochocinco has done more for NBC's ratings than Ben Silverman or Jeff Zucker ever did.

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