October 02, 2008
Beset by injuries to Willie Parker and Rashard Mendenhall, the Pittsburgh Steelers signed running back Najeh Davenport yesterday. Davenport's signing gives Pittsburgh a seasoned backup and also gives us the excuse to reprint one of the greatest Associated Press ledes of all-time:
MIAMI, July 8, 2002 -- Green Bay Packers fullback Najeh Davenport was arrested Monday, accused of breaking into a university dormitory and defecating in a woman's closet.
The story continues:
According to police, Davenport crept into a dorm room at Barry University around 6 a.m. on April 1. A woman sleeping in the room, Mary McCarthy, told police she was startled by a strange sound and saw Davenport squatting in her closet. Davenport then allegedly defecated in a laundry basket, McCarthy told detectives.
Notice the timeline; the woman sees Davenport squatting in her closet, then he did his thing. It's like he had reverse stage fright.
Davenport eventually settled the charges by agreeing to community service in exchange for his record getting wiped clean, but not before he and his lawyer delivered classic lines on the courtroom steps. Said Davenport of accepting the plea deal:
"Where's the evidence? Where's the manure? I know I didn't do it -- I just wanted to get it over with."
His lawyer, Richard Sharpstein, later commented:
"Najeh wants to put this behind him like he does linebackers in the NFL."
Actually, I thinking putting it behind him is what got Najeh into that mess in the first place. And "where's the manure" sounds like the perfect ending to any haiku.
Appropriately, Davenport will begin Sunday as Pittsburgh's #2 running back.
Photo via Getty Images
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