Each week the Noise highlights 10 over-started names whom he believes are destined to
implode leave egg on his face. To qualify, each player must be started in at least 50 percent of Yahoo leagues. Speaking as an accountability advocate, I will post results, whether genius or moronic, the following week using the scoring system shown here. If you’re a member of TEAM HUEVOS, reveal your Week 2 Lames in the comments section below.
Russell Wilson, Sea, QB (82 percent started, $33)
Matchup: at LA
No amount of miracle water will fully heal and properly protect Wilson from the arch-nemesis Rams. It seems no team has had No. 3’s number quite like the ‘Fighting’ Fishers. In eight career games against the Lambies, Wilson failed to surpass 20 fantasy points five times. Humiliated last week at San Francisco, you know LA is hell-bent on repairing its damaged reputation, especially in its first regular season home game in over two decades. Though roughed up on the ground by Carlos Hyde, the secondary performed adequately yielding a mere 4.9 yards per attempt to Blaine Gabbert. Obviously, Wilson is Gabbert to the hundredth power and, when healthy, his mobility presents many headaches. However, given Mr. Ciara’s gimpy ankle, his tuck and run abilities may be curtailed. If that’s the case, Aaron Donald, who will not be suspended for the contest after getting booted last Monday night, should be able to turn up the heat. Miami placed the passer under duress often in Week 1 and forced three sacks. In a contest that may end 3-2, thanks to a Nelson Cruz walk-off home run, the revered QB, who practiced in full Wednesday, is demote-worthy if more attractive options are available. This week, secondary signal callers Matthew Stafford (vs. Ten), Jimmy Garoppolo (vs. Mia) and Marcus Mariota (at Det) fit the description.
Fearless Forecast: 204 passing yards, 1 passing touchdown, 17 rushing yards, 2 turnovers, 11.9 fantasy points
Eddie Lacy, GB, RB (92 percent started, $21)
Matchup: at Min
Soon, remnants of Green Bay’s rolling cheddar block will be sprinkled on a tortilla-chip bed, dressed with jalapenos and melted to perfection. Hey, someone pass the sour cream. It was an all too familiar outcome for Lacy in the season opener at Jacksonville. Though unequivocally Green Bay’s featured rusher (36-to-18 snap count edge over James Starks) he logged an uneventful 78 yards on 15 touches. His resulting 4.4 yards per carry, five red-zone carries and 20 percent juke rate were nothing to scoff at, but the workload, in a game the Packers controlled for much of the second half, left owners vexed. Another indifferent tally is likely on the horizon. Linval Joseph, who consumes RBs whole, awaits. The DT and Anthony Barr were brilliant in gap coverage Week 1 against what should be one of the league’s finest rushing attacks, Tennessee. DeMarco Murray and Derrick Henry were often stonewalled on base runs combining for a wretched 2.5 yards per carry. If not for Murray’s pair of receiving touchdowns, it would’ve been a disastrous week for the duo. Lacy should again see around 75 percent of the opportunity share, but on the road and in the regular season christening of U.S. Bank Stadium versus a Mike Zimmer choreographed D … No thanks. Avoid plugging him in unless absolutely necessary.
Fearless Forecast: 16 carries, 67 rushing yards, 2 receptions, 12 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 8.9 fantasy points
Todd Gurley, LA, RB (96 percent started, $30)
Matchup: vs. Sea
Fantasy’s version of the Hindenburg was on display last Monday night in San Francisco. Thanks to Case Keenum’s gross ineffectiveness, the Niners overloaded the box, blew up the backfield and promptly sniffed out short passes. As a result, Gurley repeatedly rammed into the nearest, thickest and hardest wall. Seeing a stacked/base front 82.4 percent of the time, he managed a dreadful 42 combined yards on 18 touches (2.3 ypt). Everyone’s Preseason concerns, mine included, about the Rams offense were realized in horrific fashion against a 49ers run defense many suspected would be one of the league’s friendliest. From start-to-finish, LA deserved every Razzie award imaginable. Unless Keenum, or possibly Sean Mannion, can chase defenders from the line of scrimmage, Gurley will only continue to fall victim to one-sided game flow. Though a possible Wilson absence offers promise for a turnaround versus Seattle, the paper matchup does not. The ‘Hawks may boast the strongest interior defense in the NFL. Led by K.J. Wright, the linebacker corps routinely plunged holes and wrapped running backs last week. Dolphins rushers netted only 3.1 yards per carry in the opener. Arian Foster found success in the pass game, but Gurley’s limitations as a receiver suggest another forgettable Sunday. The sophomore back registered 16.2 standard fantasy points in his lone clash with the division foe last year. In the second rodeo, however, he’ll get gored. Give me T.J. Yeldon (at SD), Rashad Jennings (vs. NO) or Jonathan Stewart (vs. SF) instead.
Fearless Forecast: 18 carries, 59 rushing yards, 2 receptions, 8 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 7.7 fantasy points
Dez Bryant, Dal, WR (95 percent started, $25)
Matchup: at Was
What was more egregious last Sunday for Dallas: Bryant’s one-catch afternoon or Terrance Williams’ broken internal clock? It’s a tough call. Don’t pin all the blame on Dak Prescott for Dez’s hocus pocus act. Though his five targets were unacceptable, the pair of drops he logged, one in the end-zone, were mostly responsible for his miserable fantasy day. On the afternoon, Prescott completed a respectable 62.5 percent of his attempts and posted a 10.3 average depth of target. In other words, his surface results were somewhat deceiving lending confidence Bryant should right the ship in short order. But this week, the luxury liner will remain capsized. Oddly, against the league’s most nuclear weapon, Antonio Brown, Josh Norman remain fixed to one side leaving Bashaud Breeland to defuse the bomb. No surprise, Brown, pelvic thrusts and all, detonated, totaling 96 yards and two scores on the corner. Norman, meanwhile, was targeted only five times surrendering two catches for 25 yards. It will be interesting to see if Washington DC Joe Barry decides to shift Norman about in attempt to shadow Dez or sticks with the status quo. Regardless if Bryant battles Norman or Breeland, it’s hard to bank on even WR2 production. With Chicago and San Francisco on the horizon, next week will be your last opportunity to purchase Bryant at a discount price. This Sunday, though, it’s smart to lean a different direction.
Fearless Forecast: 4 receptions, 56 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 7.6 fantasy points
T.Y. Hilton, Ind, WR (86 percent started, $18)
Matchup: at Den
Bedbugs at the Hilton are about to become rampant. The Colts travel to Denver for a tango with the league’s most adversarial secondary, the No Fly Zone. Kelvin Benjamin’s 6-foot-5 frame and hefty bulk proved problematic for Bradley Roby in the opener, but, predominantly, the trio of Roby, Aqib Talib and Chris Harris were unyielding versus Carolina. As a group, they surrendered just 86 yards and a 56.0 passer rating to their assignments. Hilton, miniature when compared to Benjamin, is the type of receiver Denver typically shuts down. He’s speedy and shifty off the snap, but even if he jets past Talib or Harris, the Broncos stifling play from T.J. Ward and Darian Stewart at safety should negate long gains. Hilton did cash five receptions for 82 yards when the teams exchanged pleasantries last year, but that contest was played on the fast track at Lucas Oil Stadium. Considering the unwelcoming environment, Denver’s relentless pass rush and blanketing coverage, it’s easy to see why it’s unlikely T.Y. will reward his backers in Week 2. Expect an output notably shy of last week’s 12-6-79-0 offering versus Detroit.
Fearless Forecast: 5 receptions, 49 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 7.4 fantasy points
BONUS WEEK 2 LAMES
#TEAMHUEVOS Picks of the Week
Each week one fortunate guest prognosticator will have a chance to silence the Noise. Following the rules stated above, participants are asked to submit their “Flames” (1 QB, 2 RBs, 2 WRs, 1 TE, 1 D/ST) by midnight PT Tuesdays via Twitter @YahooNoise. How large are your stones?
— Michael Duncan (@blacktumshie) September 14, 2016
Reader Record: 2-5
Noise Record (I’m awesome): 1-9 (W: Philip Rivers; L: Cam Newton, Carlos Hyde, LeSean McCoy, Jeremy Langford, Jordy Nelson, Kelvin Benjamin, Jordan Matthews, Julius Thomas, Minnesota D/ST)