There’s still some time for this to change, but with two weeks left in spring training, the Kansas City Royals are the clubhouse leaders for the most obscene new food creation in baseball in 2017.
This week the Royals and their concession company, Aramark, unveiled the Pulled Pork Patty Melt, which sounds normal enough. Then you see the picture and read the description and find out it’s actually a beastly pulled pork funnel cake sandwich.
We at The Stew are purveyors of baseball culture of all sorts, and that includes crazy stadium eats, so we’re here with a breakdown of the Royals’ new sandwich and whether our crew would dare eat it.
WHAT IT IS: Funnel cake, BBQ pulled pork, fried onion, shredded cheddar, Monterey Jack cheese, bacon and jalapeño popper skewer.
WHERE TO GET IT: Kauffman Stadium in Kansas City
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE: Someone took out your intestines, fried them up and put bacon and cheese in the middle and sprinkled some sugar on top.
CALORIE COUNT: Not sure, but way too many, probably. (We asked Aramark and will update this if they tell us.)
WOULD YOU EAT THAT?
Chris Cwik: Is that picture even food? Based on what I’m seeing here, there’s no way in hell I would eat that. I can’t tell what’s what and all the colors are the same. I think there’s a fork in there, and based on the picture, I would probably try and take a bite out of it. Now, take the picture away and we have a different story. Give me just the description of the food and I’m 100 percent in. Pulled pork, funnel cake, cheese, bacon and a jalapeño popper … hell yeah. Sign me up. So, yeah, I didn’t really give a definitive answer here. Deal with it.
Mike Oz: You what know troubles me about this, honestly? The powdered sugar. For one, it’s always messy. So putting that on a “sandwich” that already looks messy? Meh. Plus that will just make the whole thing sweeter than it probably needs to be. While I enjoy pulled pork, if I lived in Kansas City — or if I were visiting for a ballgame – I know I could find great barbecue all over that city. So my answer is no. I don’t think it’s worth the mess and effort.
Liz Roscher: So much of that sounds good. The “pulled pork patty melt” idea is superior, since it essentially combines a grilled cheese with pulled pork, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. And the bacon and fried onions are great additions, because find me a ballpark foodstuff that bacon and fried onions would not make better. (Hot dog? Fries? Burger? All better with bacon and fried onions.) But the funnel cake … it’s an interesting idea in theory, but look at that picture. The funnel cake is literally just a funnel cake, made normally and barely containing the sandwich. If you tried to eat it, it would fall apart on your lap, embarrassing you horribly and requiring a trip to the team store to buy a whole new outfit. If the funnel cake were more bun-like and could actually contain the sandwich, I’d be all about it. Oh, and don’t even get me started about the jalapeño on top. If you need something spicy on the sandwich, toss on some Tabasco. You don’t need a random cheese filled fried jalapeño popper on top.
Mark Townsend: Yes. I’d probably prefer splitting this with someone, but I’d give it a shot for sure. I’m not big on onion rings and would completely avoid the jalapeño popper, but everything else looks and sounds mouth-watering. In terms of creativity related to elaborate baseball stadium food options, I’d give this a solid double.
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