Power Rankings: Twins battle back

Tim Brown
Yahoo! Sports

While mulling realignment and the number of teams that would form a line to be included in a six-team division that included the Pirates over the past two decades, we present the latest rankings.

(Records through Wednesday's games.)

Philadelphia
Philadelphia

1. Philadelphia Phillies (47-28; Previous: 1) – Phillies can't score on road, hire consultant Tiger Woods.


Boston
Boston

2. Boston Red Sox (44-30; Previous: 2) – Like we said, Fenway Park has made Adrian Gonzalez(notes) faster: He's 10th in the league in triples.


New York
New York

3. New York Yankees (43-30; Previous: 4) – New Yankees edition Ford Explorer has deep bench seat, sturdy back end, good for long drives. On other hand, can mishandle on short stops.


Atlanta
Atlanta

4. Atlanta Braves (43-33; Previous: 8) – In Atlanta, they're still talking about the Hudson home run. Course, he hasn't quite gotten around the bases yet.


Tampa Bay
Tampa Bay

5. Tampa Bay Rays (41-34; Previous: 11) – Maddon dekes umpires with fake Fuld warm-up. Umps should have known something was up when batboy was catcher, photographer was on field and Fuld wasn't wearing a glove.


Milwaukee
Milwaukee

6. Milwaukee Brewers (41-35; Previous: 5) – In ongoing sausage races, Prince likes oversized Bratwurst. And by "like," we mean with spicy mustard.


Arizona
Arizona

7. Arizona Diamondbacks (41-34; Previous: 12) – D'backs wear ties to K.C. that depict Kirk Gibson sitting in a bathtub. In other news, two utility infielders, a reliever and two clubbies found in closet with their hands and feet bound.


St. Louis
St. Louis

8. St. Louis Cardinals (40-35; Previous: 3) – By the time everyone finishes measuring the impact of Pujols' injury on the Cardinals, he'll likely have signed a $200 million contract with somebody else.


San Francisco
San Francisco

9. San Francisco Giants (40-34; Previous: 7) – Bumgarner starts game with eight consecutive hits, drives home and hits every red light.


Cleveland
Cleveland

10. Cleveland Indians (40-33; Previous: 6) – Indians decide they need "new voice" at hitting coach, go for tenor with a little of that raspy thing.


Texas
Texas

11. Texas Rangers (40-36; Previous: 9) – Washington thrilled to be in All-Star game, says he's always wanted to manage the Yankees.


Detroit
Detroit

12. Detroit Tigers (40-35; Previous: 10) – Verlander gets first look at Dodgers offense, thinks that by not pitching in Los Angeles this week that, yeah, maybe he left a no-hitter on the table.


Cincinnati
Cincinnati

13. Cincinnati Reds (39-37; Previous: 16) – The Reds so mediocre they're thinking of changing their name to the Puces. Or, Reds call up starter, hope it's LeCure to what ails them.


Seattle
Seattle

14. Seattle Mariners (37-37; Previous: 15) – Aardsma admits he once took himself with the first pick of a fantasy draft, later claimed he thought he had to go alphabetical.


Colorado
Colorado

15. Colorado Rockies (37-37; Previous: 20) – Weird thing about baseball in Colorado: Whenever the hitters go cold, Coors Field turns blue.


Chicago
Chicago

16. Chicago White Sox (37-39; Previous: 17) – Up until now, I didn't think Ozzie passed kidney stones. I thought kidney stones passed Ozzie.


Pittsburgh
Pittsburgh

17. Pittsburgh Pirates (37-37; Previous: 18) – The Pirates, apparently, are not going to go away. Same fear Pittsburgh has experienced for two decades.


Los Angeles
Los Angeles

18. Los Angeles Angels (37-39; Previous: 19) – McKeon returns to dugout, looks wistfully at Angels, remembers when they were just cherubs.


Minnesota
Minnesota

19. Minnesota Twins (32-40; Previous: 29) – Ozzie says Twins are no longer piranhas, but sardines. Apparently, the dugouts are very, very small at Target Field.


Toronto
Toronto

20. Toronto Blue Jays (36-39; Previous: 14) – Bautista loves math so much he calculated that Jays relievers' ERAs extended in binary code and converted to letters comes out to "RZEPCZYNSKI."


Washington
Washington

21. Washington Nationals (37-37; Previous: 25) – Nats at .500 this late for first time in six years, aiming for Gingrich approval rating, then go from there.


Oakland
Oakland

22. Oakland A's (34-41; Previous: 26) – A's find lucky gold jerseys working much better than lucky offseason signings, lucky home-run trots and lucky gloves.


New York
New York

23. New York Mets (36-38; Previous: 22) – Other stuff David Einhorn could get for a dollar: Dykstra investment advice, 2006 NL pennant T-shirts, Oliver Perez(notes).


Los Angeles
Los Angeles

24. Los Angeles Dodgers (34-42; Previous: 23) – Attendance at Dodger Stadium so bad foul balls into stands are no longer considered "souvenirs," but "annoyances."


Florida
Florida

25. Florida Marlins (33-42; Previous: 13) – McKeon boldly benches Hanley on first day as manager, later admits he thought that was Chris Coghlan(notes).


Baltimore
Baltimore

26. Baltimore Orioles (33-39; Previous: 21) – In toughest division, O's decide to challenge elite with unconventional methods: below average offense, defense and pitching.


San Diego
San Diego

27. San Diego Padres (32-44; Previous: 24) – GM Hoyer returns to Boston, relieved to discover phrase "you can't go home again" generally only pertains to Padres baserunners.


Kansas City
Kansas City

28. Kansas City Royals (31-43; Previous: 27) – In order to freshen up "stale" batting order, Yost toasts it and slathers it in peanut butter.


Chicago
Chicago

29. Chicago Cubs (30-44; Previous: 30) – Quade suggests lacrosse for those who didn't enjoy the Cubs-Yankees series. The sport, not the city. Well, maybe the city.


Houston
Houston

30. Houston Astros (28-48; Previous: 28) – With realignment coming, Astros petition league to go wherever Pirates go.


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