Since brevity is a word that doesn't exist in the Noise's vocabulary, your comments, questions and vitriolic derision will run separately from Thursday's flames/lames column for the remainder of the season. Bring the noise, fools!
Brandon Marshall 32nd? Eddie Royal 8th? Yea, yea, go ahead and tell me some crap about Nnamdi Asomugha, but consider that Brandon Marshall is among the hardest five WRs in this league to cover (probably only behind Andre and Calvin Johnson, Fitzgerald and Boldin) … and Nnamdi hasn't stopped anyone on that level this year. I can understand at worst ranking Marshall marginally lower than Royal, but this is absolutely ridiculous. You're gonna be embarrassed after his output this week, as you always are. It's cool if you say that fantasy is difficult to predict, but all your colleagues do a much better job than you on a consistent basis. PLUS you always have typos … your only thing is your little shtick with nicknames, which is not even funny. I bet you're a good guy, but you're terrible at this fantasy business. Enjoy the fact that you're somehow still getting paid for this idiocy, since Yahoo! apparently has no quality standards. – Milad, Boston, Mass.
Noise: Milad (or should the Noise call you "Mulan,") you strike me as the type of person who would purposely pour scalding hot gravy on a family member's hand if they didn't follow a specific passing protocol. In other words, you want your fantasy experts to fall into a regimental line and mislead you with "always start your studs" advice instead of thinking outside the box.
Yes, Brandon Marshall greatly exceeded the Noise's "lame" prognostication and Eddie Royal's top-10 ranking was grossly inaccurate, but guess where B-Marsh's four-catch, 84-yard performance finished among Week 12 wide receivers? That's right, 32nd. Yahoo! may not pay their fantasy experts on a commission basis, but if they did, the Noise would've earned a rather sizable purple bonus for nailing the Marshall prediction. Maybe I should pull my resume off Monster.com.
Oh, and to say "Nnamdi hasn't stopped anyone on Marshall's level this year," proves your researching skills rank in the same class as my apparent mistake-ridden grasp of the English language. Thank you for pointing that out, William Randolph Hearst. To refresh your Patriots-polluted mind, the "Black Death" infected one of the game's elite talents in Week 10, Steve Smith, who currently ranks fifth among WRs in FPPG, holding him to just one reception for nine yards.
Enjoy inflicting third-degree burns on your relatives!
Brad, screw these naysayers. When the day is over, they are the ones still logging into their Yahoo! accounts to see what you have to say week in and week out. How dare you not predict the future!– Brett, Chicago, Ill.
Noise: Unless Milad is blessed with a well-endowed frame similar to Victoria's Secret goddess Adriana Lima, he's one naysayer the Noise refuses to have intimate relations with. Oh sweet Adriana, please ridicule my Dwayne Bowe Week 13 lame forecast.
If Mr. Universe ever donned a Speedo and struck a pose, drool would cascade down the chins of
attractive women his owners
I know you have your man crushes and I have mine. I don't know how Matt Forte hasn't been "bringin' the noise" yet. He's about to break 1,000 yards rushing, has well over 300 yards receiving and has produced at least 10 points a week except for bye week (non ppr league) and this guy is a rookie! He is the entire workload of the Bears offense. You give me a first round pick next year I'm not gonna promise I'm not gonna pick AP but I'd trade my 2nd and 3rd pick for Forte, all day long.– Matt, Syracuse, N.Y.
Noise: Plenty of gushing words were spewed about Forte earlier this year by Grizzly Behrens and yours truly. As devout Bears fanatics we were thrilled he resembled nothing of Curtis Enis/Rashaan Salaam/Cedric Benson in college.
Because of his all-around talents, "Mr. Universe" has flexed his muscles with remarkable consistency this year. Ranked only behind Michael Turner and Clinton Portis in FPPG among RBs, he's tallied at least 10 fantasy points in all but one game (Week 4 vs. Phi). Meanwhile for PPR-minded owners, his 4.1 receptions per game average has been a godsend.
Many have expressed concerns over his hefty workload (24.5 touches/game), which is justified. But despite the workhorse regimen, he still looks early-season fresh. His bulky frame, incredible work ethic and blue-collar approach suggest he'll be a dandy for years to come. At this point, he should be considered a top-five pick in 2009 drafts.
As for the remainder of the season, Forte will likely be the cornerstone of many championship rosters. Outside of his extremely difficult matchup this week in Minnesota, he faces four questionable run defenses, three of them at home (Jac, NO, GB, at Hou), during most owners' fantasy playoffs. Combined the Jags, Saints, Packers and Texans have yielded 4.4 yards per carry, 150.3 total yards, 4.3 receptions and 1.1 scores per game to rushers. It's conceivable Forte could compile roughly 120 total yards and 3-5 touchdowns during the most crucial stretch of the season. When Adriana and the Noise mate, which will probably happen tomorrow, our first child will be named after him.
I read pretty much all of your analysis and find most of it to be solid intel. I'm gearing for the playoffs in a few leagues and trying to get my matchups lined up for weeks 14, 15 and 16. Matchups aside, how productive is the Arizona offense going to be (primarily Warner, Fitzgerald, Boldin and, to a lesser extent, Breaston) with the huge lead they currently possess in the NFC West? Is Whisenhunt going to play them partial games to keep them active but to avoid risk of injury?– Mark, Harrisburg, Pa.
Noise: Whisenhunt was molded from an old school football philosophy while in Pittsburgh. He's a throwback coach who is dedicated to having his team function at a high level at all times which means he probably doesn’t think fondly of resting players regardless of the risks involved.
Yes, the Cardinals will clinch very early, but additional victories could influence their seeding and subsequently how many games they'll host in Glendale. Sure, we could see Matt Leinart beer-bonging red Gatorade in the huddle Week 17 which means Kurt Warner backers may want to have a contingency plan in place just to be safe. But, at this point, the odds of you starting Jerheme Urban out of desperation seem minimal.
Aaaarrrgghhh, Matey! Since Week 10, Cap'n Quick's ship has run aground.
Are you concerned with Chris Johnson's slowing in production over the past month. He's a rookie and maybe the long season is getting to him. Is this a good time to sell high?– Matt, Boston, Mass.
Noise: Yes, it seems Captain Quick has relished another Captain's libations in recent weeks, but his owners should only be slightly concerned.
Sure, Johnson's production has slipped over the past three weeks (5.7 FPPG, No. 49 among RBs), but he faced one unbendable run defense (New York Jets) and two enigmatic units (Chicago and Jacksonville) who overloaded the box to stymie him and LenDale Whine. Because the NFL is a copycat league, defensive coordinators will likely employ similar tactics the rest of the season.
But the Pillsbury Doughboys he's slated to clash with over the next three weeks, including his Thanksgiving day tussle with Detroit (and Cle/Hou), should rekindle his dwindling value. The Lions, Browns and Texans have allowed a combined 4.8 yards per carry, 159.7 total yards and 1.3 touchdowns per game to plowshares. If your league trade deadline hasn't passed, buy on the cheap. Johnson should average at least 100 total yards per game and score 2-3 touchdowns from Weeks 13-15.
With huge games from both Week 11 and lopsided efforts last week, I'm having a hard time deciding who to start: DeAngelo Williams or Jonathon Stewart. Who do you think will have the better game in Cheese Land? Should I not start either since they'll pull points away from each other? – Rich, Buffalo, N.Y.
Noise: Two weeks ago on " Fantasy Football Live" the experts engaged in a cat fat. Count Chocula (Brandon Funston) and Henry Rollins (Chris Liss) both claimed Stewart would be the better fantasy option in Carolina going forward. The Noise, who dreams of "accidentally" bumping into the Little Napoleon underneath a doorway adorned with mistletoe, backed DeAngelo Williams. So far, this "expert" has the upper-hand.
It continues to amaze me how fantasy pundits disrespect D-Will. The guy is a hoss who continues to rack otherworldly numbers week-in, week-out. In fact, over the past five weeks, no one, not even Thomas Jones, Michael Tuner or Adrian Peterson, has outscored Carolina's ground emperor in fantasy points per game. During that stretch he's netted 6.8 yards per carry, 126.5 total yards per game and splashed pay-dirt five times.
With Stewart, who was seen wearing a protective boot on his left foot Sunday, still battling heel soreness, DeAngelo will be the primary ball carrier for the foreseeable future. Clearly, he's the superior option. Scheduled to tango with Green Bay this week and Denver in Week 15, he should be considered a top-10 back in those contests. However, matchups with the Bucs (Week 14) and the Giants in New York (Week 16) are daunting tasks. Still, because the Panthers offensive line has played excellently and given Jake Delhomme's struggles, Williams will be the center of John Fox's offense. Even against tough foes, he should be counted on as an RB2 the rest of the year.
Hey Noise, how has not even one Yahoo! analyst, or any of the Fox Sports TV analysts, mentioned anything about McNabb clapping on the sidelines while Kolb threw that interception? I thought it was hilarious and warranted some kind of punishment from the team – nothing serious, maybe a $5k fine and five laps around the field – but c'mon, what grade are you in that you really need to act like a big baby when your backup stinks it up? I thought for sure I'd see an Evans' article with a "Dinosaurs, Gotta love me, I'm the baby" reference by now. ndash; SV, New Rochelle, N.Y.
Noise: SV, ya know, if you look at the father from the old "Dinosaurs" show, he kind of looks like an overweight version of McNabb. Honestly, the reason why the Noise has never referenced that show is because anthropomorphic characters, whether reptilian in nature or not, frighten me. My phobia stems from a harrowing Furry convention experience I had with some dude dressed as Wily Coyote in a Pittsburgh Hilton bathroom four years ago (not really).
Unlike my colleague, Brandon Funston, I believe McNabb's benching was not only justified, but needed. His turnover problems are one of the many unfortunate events that have crippled the Eagles. Just like an All-Star pitcher, he didn't bring his "A-game" last week in Baltimore. It happens to the best of players. Giving the backup a chance to spark the offense wasn't an idiotic move. However, I do agree Andy Reid mishandled things after the game. Instead of openly endorsing McNabb as his QB for Week 13 he allowed the media to run wild with the story until Monday morning. Clearly McNabb, even in a declining state, gives the Eagles a better chance to win than Kevin Kolb.
As for the chunky soup connoisseur's projected efforts Thursday night versus Arizona, look for him to carve up the Cardinals. When the Cards have flown east of the Mississippi, they've struggled mightily this year. In four games, they've yielded 229 passing yards per game and 12 air strikes. McNabb will definitely have the long-end of the wishbone this week. An effort around 250-plus yards with 2-3 touchdowns seems inevitable.