No, we're not going to show you Justin Verlander's ass

Kurt Mensching
SB Nation

But we are telling you jokes.

So, Kate Upton's phone was hacked. Probably. I haven't gone looking for a story about it, frankly. The end result, however, I know: This evening there are photos of the pair posing in front of a mirror in all their glory making their rounds on the Internet.

No, we're not going to show you the photos. Not going to tell you have to find them, either. But they definitely exist. This is a thing that happened that you're going to hear about anyway. So it may as well be from us.

After all, we are a site that enjoys a good joke, and fortunately Twitter has provided us with jokes aplenty already. So we're going to show you those instead and invite your best jokes -- NO PHOTOS OR LINKS TO THEM ALLOWED -- in our comments.

And, just to ruin the rest of your night ...

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