MLB Power Rankings: Rangers climb near top

Tim Brown

On Al Gore, Bryce Harper's disappearing jersey, Korean piñatas, more Al Gore, Wrigley history and Jays fans:

The rankings (records through Wednesday):


1. Atlanta Braves (15-6; Previous: 1) – So, after all those years, turns out the anchor was Chipper.


2. Texas Rangers (14-7; Previous: 7) – From historical perspective, Berkman says Wrigley has "mainly been a place for people to go and drink beer." Like there's something wrong with that.

San Francisco

3. San Francisco Giants (13-9; Previous: 3) – Zito tells GQ his new hobby is "shooting firearms," teammates really hope he's got better command with that.


4. Boston Red Sox (14-7; Previous: 9) – Papi slays 'em with profane ode to city. Next Patriots Day, thinking he'll tell "Aristocrats" joke.


5. Baltimore Orioles (12-9; Previous: 11) – Chris Davis breaks bat over knee, but Showalter forgives him. Alternative was bat boy.

St. Louis

6. St. Louis Cardinals (13-8; Previous: 14) – Cards take three in D.C. or, as it's being sold in Hollywood, Olympus Has Fallen II.


7. Cincinnati Reds (13-9; Previous: 5) – Choo ties record with 10 hit-by-pitches in April. Excitement builds in Queen City, as next time he's hit candy comes out.

[Also: Yu Darvish reminiscent of MLB pitching legend]


8. Oakland Athletics (13-9; Previous: 4) – A's start due in large part to six wins against Astros, the Bernie Dance of big-league teams.


9. Colorado Rockies (14-7; Previous: 22) – Rockies' ERA better at home than on the road, and Al Gore's head just exploded.


10. Arizona Diamondbacks (12-9; Previous: 12) – D-backs management decides to release knuckler, draws straws on who gets to make Booty call.


11. Washington Nationals (10-11; Previous: 2) – After MLB auctions his opening day jersey without permission, Harper hurriedly Sharpies "Bernadina" onto rest of uniform.


12. Detroit Tigers (10-9; Previous: 8) – Hunter bumps into Angels owner at restaurant in SoCal, couldn't believe Moreno had ordered steak and lobster.

New York

13. New York Yankees (11-9; Previous: 16) – Team security plays part in ejecting fans. From someone else's ballpark. In someone else's country. Seems they've taken this Yankees Universe thing a tad too literally.

Kansas City

14. Kansas City Royals (10-8; Previous: 10) – Royals introduced new iPhone app, allows fans to upgrade seats, enhance ballpark experience, erase from memory last 25 years.


15. Pittsburgh Pirates (12-9; Previous: 28) – Bucs believe this could be the year. It could. Seriously. What?

Tampa Bay

16. Tampa Bay Rays (10-11; Previous: 13) – Pregame clubhouse entertainment goes flat when it's revealed "DJ Fresh" was a heavily made-up and blinged-out Don Zimmer.

[Also: Here are five guys not worthy of a MLB All-Star vote]


17. Milwaukee Brewers (11-9; Previous: 26) – "Technically," umpire explains, "[Jean Segura] stole second, stole first, then got thrown out stealing second." End result: no more Red Bull for Segura.

Los Angeles

18. Los Angeles Dodgers (9-11; Previous: 6) – In an effort to always be prepared, pitcher Fife keeps spare baseball in front shirt pocket.

Los Angeles

19. Los Angeles Angels (8-12; Previous: 17) – City of Los Angeles examining legal strategies to return Angels to Anaheim.

New York

20. New York Mets (10-9; Previous: 21) – Agent Boras calls Harvey-Strasburg matchup "Yahoo! vs. Google," so apparently we can thank Internet pioneer Al Gore.


21. Minnesota Twins (9-8; Previous: 24) – Inclement weather means Twins play four games in nine days, win them all, apply for membership in NBA.


22. Philadelphia Phillies (9-13; Previous: 18) – Phils trying to determine which Halladay will show up. Also, if it's Labor Day then Memorial Day or the other way around.


23. Toronto Blue Jays (9-13; Previous: 15) – Gregg Zaun on Jays fans: "They're getting drunker and drunker and drunker …" We're pretty sure that's a compliment in Canada.


24. Cleveland Indians (8-11; Previous: 20) – Francona reports Santana is "a little bit enfermo," which in Spanish means "raking." Or something.


25. Chicago White Sox (8-12; Previous: 19) – Rios, still getting booed in Toronto, seriously considers contracting out a few of those Yankee security guys.

[Fantasy: Which struggling L.A. outfielder will have the better season?]


26. Seattle Mariners (8-15; Previous: 23) – Mariners change shortstops. Also rearrange deck chairs.


27. Houston Astros (7-14; Previous: 29) – We'd just like to point out that the Astros did have a winning record in March.


28. Chicago Cubs (6-14; Previous: 25) – Hoyer states that Cubs are "painful to watch," which, as Berkman would attest, speaks to the going there and drinking beer part of their history.

San Diego

29. San Diego Padres (6-15; Previous: 27) – In an effort to improve offense, Padres now making bats out of trust trees.


30. Miami Marlins (5-16; Previous: 30) – Stanton returns, immediately makes Marlins' lineup, well, taller.

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