MLB Power Rankings: Oakland gets straight A's

Tim Brown
A's catcher Derek Norris and reliever Sean Doolittle are feelnig good about their team. (AP Photo)

On the A’s stealthiness, the Tigers’ stubborn aircraft, Carlos Gomez’s special rehab and the Rockies’ secret:

The rankings (records through Wednesday):


1. Oakland Athletics (30-16; Previous: 4) – The A’s have snuck up on us again. Clearly, we need a better security system.


2. Detroit Tigers (27-15; Previous: 1) – It’s not that the plane could not leave Boston, it’s that it refused to go to Cleveland.

San Francisco

3. San Francisco Giants (29-18; Previous: 3) – Tim Lincecum shaves mustache on Sunday. Teammates notice on Wednesday.


4. Milwaukee Brewers (28-19; Previous: 2) – Carlos Gomez cleared to return to lineup after passing variety of tests, including agility drills, rakish bat flips and 60-foot stare-downs.


5. Colorado Rockies (26-21; Previous: 5) – Rockies aren’t a good road team, but they did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.


6. Atlanta Braves (25-20; Previous: 8) – Braves strike out more than the creepy, backwards-cap guy on Kiss Cam.

Los Angeles

7. Los Angeles Angels (26-20; Previous: 16) – Albert Pujols would prefer not to be called “El Hombre,” but “The Big A” has kind of a nice ring to it.

St. Louis

8. St. Louis Cardinals (25-21; Previous: 12) – La Russa’s new team comes to St. Louis. Cardinals think it’s not nearly as pretty as they are. And those outfits? Puh-leeze.

New York

9. New York Yankees (24-21; Previous: 9) – Jeter gets subway tile No. 2 from Mets, secretly muses to himself, "What’s a subway?"

Los Angeles

10. Los Angeles Dodgers (25-22; Previous: 7) – Boras comes out against player “cannibalizing” one’s teammate. OK, however, for agent to eat team’s general manager for lunch.


11. Washington Nationals (24-22; Previous: 6) – If Strasburg is such a horse, how come he’s not wearing a nasal strip?


12. Baltimore Orioles (23-21; Previous: 11) – After Matt Wieters, Chris Davis and others need platelet-rich plasma injections, O’s go ahead and set up PRP bar in clubhouse.


13. Toronto Blue Jays (25-22; Previous: 17) – Whenever Bud Selig talks about “the national pastime,” Jays feel like everybody’s looking at them.


14. Miami Marlins (24-23; Previous: 10) – Sure, Randy Wolf is almost 38, but his UCL is still a rookie.


15. Seattle Mariners (22-23; Previous: 15) – M’s put Hart on DL, have to make do with hustle.


16. Minnesota Twins (23-21; Previous: 23) – Good news: You can buy a Metrodome urinal trough for, like, five bucks. Fat, belligerent guys in Hrbek jerseys sold separately.


17. Cincinnati Reds (21-24; Previous: 19) – Maybe all those walks were Votto’s way of saving his knee.


18. Chicago White Sox (23-25; Previous: 20) – Ball through Gordon Beckham’s legs initially called a hit, later ruled an error on Alex Rios.


19. Texas Rangers (22-24; Previous: 13) – The back thing Matt Harrison has is called “spondylolisthesis” and it’s official: Rangers have so many different injuries they’re now making up words for them.

Kansas City

20. Kansas City Royals (23-23; Previous: 22) – Royals send out Moustakas. Interestingly, will take I-52 to Omaha.


21. Cleveland Indians (22-25; Previous: 26) – Indians win on balk-off, totally confused as to whom to mob in celebration.


22. Boston Red Sox (20-25; Previous: 14) – Good thing all those fans have died in peace, 'cause they shouldn’t have to watch this.


23. Philadelphia Phillies (20-23; Previous: 24) – Citi Field Shake Shack apologizes to Ryne Sandberg. Chase Utley was supposed to get that burger.

Tampa Bay

24. Tampa Bay Rays (19-28; Previous: 18) – Maddon quite pleased with arrival of “lucky” Sex Panther cologne. As if there’s an “unlucky” Sex Panther cologne.

San Diego

25. San Diego Padres (21-26; Previous: 25) – What with climate change and energy conservation concerns, Padres offense feels it’s simply irresponsible to ever light up scoreboard.

New York

26. New York Mets (20-25; Previous: 21) – Mets staffer accidently emails reporters GM Alderson’s credit card information. In related incident, three beat writers show up next day with new pen sets and pinky rings.


27. Pittsburgh Pirates (19-26; Previous: 27) – Liriano, last season’s comeback player of the year, apparently eyeing 2015 award as well.


28. Arizona Diamondbacks (18-30; Previous: 28) – First things first, La Russa orders Gibson to wear sunglasses in night games.


29. Chicago Cubs (16-28; Previous: 29) – Cubs give Jeter nice retirement gifts to be shipped to Yankee Stadium. Samardzija stows away on delivery truck.


30. Houston Astros (17-30; Previous: 30) – Old saying: The MLB draft doesn’t really start until the Astros make a pick.