MLB Power Rankings: Cards look strong, but they may be vulnerable

Tim BrownMLB columnist

On the league’s finest baseball town, a rewards program at White House and Cousin Yuri’s big decision:

The rankings (records through Wednesday’s games):

St. Louis
St. Louis
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1. St. Louis Cardinals (39-21; Previous: 1) – Study claims St. Louis is best baseball city, primarily due to accomplished team, reasonable prices and Mike Matheny’s sturdy, baseball-y chin.


Kansas City
Kansas City

2. Kansas City Royals (34-23; Previous: 2) – MLB admits it blew replay call that should have benefited Royals. Enough for Ned Yost that league officials know how deeply disappointed he is in them.


Los Angeles
Los Angeles

3. Los Angeles Dodgers (35-25; Previous: 5) – With club having trouble scoring on road, Don Mattingly suggests maybe guys should shower after games.


San Francisco
San Francisco

4. San Francisco Giants (34-26; Previous: 7) – Giants need only two more visits to qualify for one free night at White House.


New York
New York

5. New York Yankees (33-26; Previous: 12) – After careful consideration, Cousin Yuri opts to go into prison as a Yankee.


Minnesota
Minnesota

6. Minnesota Twins (33-26; Previous: 6) – Torii Hunter says he would not have thrown his jersey if clubbies hadn’t left clothes hamper on field of play.


Houston
Houston

7. Houston Astros (34-27; Previous: 3) – Astros picked second in draft. Admitted it felt weird to wait around that long.


Pittsburgh
Pittsburgh

8. Pittsburgh Pirates (32-27; Previous: 11) – Draft war room was actually just a conference space with vertical blinds and bagels. But “war room” sounded cooler.


Tampa Bay
Tampa Bay

9. Tampa Bay Rays (32-28; Previous: 13) – Rays confused by all this talk about Tampa Bay lightning, ’cause, you know, it’s OK, they play indoors.


Chicago
Chicago

10. Chicago Cubs (31-26; Previous: 9) – Joe Maddon doesn’t go for that “punk” stuff, except for The Sex Pistols, because they were awesome.


Texas
Texas

11. Texas Rangers (31-28; Previous: 18) – Rangers select first pitcher in draft, announce he’ll start against A’s that night.


Washington
Washington

12. Washington Nationals (31-28; Previous: 4) – Fan tosses phone to Bryce Harper, Harper takes selfie, Harper tosses phone back, fan killed by bro-ming charges.


Toronto
Toronto

13. Toronto Blue Jays (31-30; Previous: 23) – Blasted by team radio broadcaster, Jose Reyes says “only God can judge me.” You know, God has UZR, too, Jose.


Detroit
Detroit

14. Detroit Tigers (31-29; Previous: 8) – American Pharoah wins Triple Crown. Miguel Cabrera thinks he’s no Man o’ WAR.


New York
New York

15. New York Mets (31-29; Previous: 10) – Commissioner views Bartolo Colon at-bats as “entertainment” and so evidence DH is unnecessary. Also thinks funny limps justify Achilles’ tears.


Los Angeles
Los Angeles

16. Los Angeles Angels (29-30; Previous: 15) – Angels, seeking team identity, in meantime go with sunglasses and fake mustaches.


San Diego
San Diego

17. San Diego Padres (30-31; Previous: 19) – Padres seek bench help, give themselves a Melvin.



Baltimore
Baltimore

18. Baltimore Orioles (28-30; Previous: 17) – O’s panic on big day, draft anyone named “Ripken.”


Atlanta
Atlanta

19. Atlanta Braves (29-30; Previous: 16) – Now that David Aardsma, Hank Aaron and Tommie Aaron have played for them, from here on would like to be known as Aatlanta Braves.


Cleveland
Cleveland

20. Cleveland Indians (27-31; Previous: 21) – Indians’ bullpen holds Brandon Moss’ home run ball for ransom, gets Terry Francona thinking about how he’d make out lineup every day.


Cincinnati
Cincinnati

21. Cincinnati Reds (27-31; Previous: 26) – Maybe before the All-Star Game gets here we oughtta straighten up a little.


Chicago
Chicago

22. Chicago White Sox (28-30; Previous: 22) – The Melky Cabrera thing doesn’t seem to be working out. Maybe time to restore his Internet privileges.


Colorado
Colorado

23. Colorado Rockies (27-31; Previous: 25) – When Rangers come to town Rockies are ready with their Gallo’s humidor.


Arizona
Arizona

24. Arizona Diamondbacks (27-32; Previous: 20) – Wellington Castillo would just like to say he enjoyed his time with the Chiattlezona Cubarinerbacks. The, uh, Searizago Diamarinubs. Oh hell, where next?


Seattle
Seattle

25. Seattle Mariners (27-32; Previous: 14) – Lloyd McClendon’s rant ensnares three umpires, explains a fourth would have been totally excessive.


Boston
Boston

26. Boston Red Sox (27-33; Previous: 24) – To his credit, Hanley becomes second-best Ramirez to play left field for Red Sox in past 15 years.


Oakland
Oakland

27. Oakland Athletics (24-37; Previous: 29) – Which hand would Pat Venditte pitch with if he faced the Dodgers? Ethier.


Miami
Miami

28. Miami Marlins (24-36; Previous: 28) – You don’t even want to know how Giancarlo Stanton eats string cheese. Freakin’ barbaric.


Milwaukee
Milwaukee

29. Milwaukee Brewers (22-38; Previous: 30) – In a season in which nothing has gone right, even the Bud Selig statue looks a little disgusted.


Philadelphia
Philadelphia

30. Philadelphia Phillies (22-39; Previous: 27) – Asked for their draft pick, Phillies request a good lager, maybe an IPA.

 

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