New York Yankees starter Michael Pineda looked on Monday afternoon like the best version of Michael Pineda. And if you know Michael Pineda, you know there’s a huge difference between Big Mike, who has no-hit type of stuff, and Big Mike, who had a 4.82 ERA last season.
On this day, however, facing the Tampa Bay Rays, Pineda was carving. He struck out 10 batters heading into the seventh inning and until that point hadn’t allowed a hit, a walk or a runner to reach on an error — 18 up, 18 down, a perfect-game bid. When it hits the seventh inning, that means it’s time to stop what you’re doing and see if perfection can be attained.
Apparently, that includes Martha Stewart, who was at Yankee Stadium and felt the need to bless the Internet with a “Hey-everybody-perfect-game-over-here” tweet.
It's top of the seventh here at yankee stadium and the Yankees are pitching a perfect game versus the Tampa rays
— Martha Stewart (@MarthaStewart) April 10, 2017
You know what happened next, right? Literally two minutes later, Rays third baseman Evan Longoria doubled into left field, ending Pineda’s perfect-game attempt. Baseball Twitter then did what Baseball Twitter does and let Stewart know that she “jinxed” Pineda’s perfecto bid, because she didn’t adhere to baseball’s unwritten rules and stay quiet about a perfect game or no-hitter that’s in process. Shudder to think!
— Hirsty ن ???????? (@d_hirsty) April 10, 2017
— Sergio Brown (@UACoachSergio) April 10, 2017
@MarthaStewart Spoken like a naive kitchen maven uniformed of baseball tradition.
— David Evans (@devansADR) April 10, 2017
Ah yes, you knew this was going to end in some good ol’ fashioned sports mansplaining. You have might noticed, though, that when we talked about Stewart’s jinx of Pineda, we put it quotes — “jinx.” You know why?
Because — and read this to this very closely, people — YOU CAN’T JINX ANYTHING WITH A TWEET. Nope. False. It doesn’t actually work that way. End of the story. Just stop already.
The Yankees eventually won the game 8-1. But you know the real winner? Martha Stewart. While Sports Twitter is lecturing her about so-called baseball decorum and making laughable typos (don’t think we didn’t see that, David Evans), she’s probably chilling with Snoop Dogg somewhere.
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