While that headline is very funny, it's not actually a joke: 'arry Redknapp seems to have misplaced his latest signing.
Last week, Edu Vargas left Napoli and signed with Queens Park Rangers in England on loan. It seemed like a reasonable move; QPR is in the English Premier League, can pay his wages, and offers him lots of playing time to develop with and further cement his role in the Chile national side.
Apparently, however, things have not gone quite to plan in London:
— Lynsey Hooper (@lynseyhooper) August 29, 2014
That's, uh... that's weird. While apparently the deal has yet to become completely official - Vargas still hasn't been granted a work permit yet for some reason, even though he meets England's qualifications for one easily - you'd think Vargas would still be in contact with his new manager and team as he prepares to eventually make his debut.
So why is Vargas out of contact? Well, we at the Siren's Song bunker (we can't afford fancy towers yet) have done some brainstorming, and come up with the most likely list we could think of:
He realized that he'll be playing for Harry Redknapp. Could you really blame him for wanting out of that one?
He went on a London Underground tour and got lost
He got cold (it's London, after all) and is hiding in his apartment with the heat cranked up.
He had "bangers and mash" for the first time and is still in a coma.
He got bad directions and is at the facilities of the Scottish fourth division team Queens Park.
Daniel Levy fell in to bad habits and found a way to cancel another one the signings 'Arry so carefully planned out.
He realized that he'll be playing for Harry Redknapp. Seriously, you would probably want out too.
'Arry thought he was signing Juan Vargas and has no idea who this "Edu" kid who keeps coming up to talk to him is.
He thought "signing with QPR" was a joke by his agent and now is trying to figure out how to get out of the deal.
He's walking all the way though the Chunnel from France to England just because he can.
Hopefully Vargas is OK and this is nothing serious. The whole thing is pretty dang weird, though.
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