The Big Rob and Chyna Blowout Unfolds on "KUWTK"
Get seven episodes into most seasons of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, and the show will have already waded into filler territory, featuring storylines like helipad shopping, exotic animal viewing, manufactured frenemy gossip, and overblown drama, rather than actually digging in to real family drama. But season 13 continues to bring it, and last night's episode did too. Let's get into it.
In Which the Kardashian Sisters Admit That Reality TV Is Maybe a Bad Idea: Rob's at the forefront of this week's episode once again, and it's not because he has good news or has suddenly gotten his life back on track or whatever. It's the same old stuff with Chyna, kicked off by her breaking one of Kylie's televisions during a fight with Rob. (They're living in one of Kylie's "old homes" and Kylie's not as smug about that as she could be, which is something. "My mom calls me to kind of keep me informed on what's going on in my home, and apparently Chyna threw something at my television that I left there," Kylie says. "It's really hard to support a relationship that's really unhealthy, especially when it's hurting my brother and now it's affected me.") From there, it spirals into Rob's Snapchat tirades and the incident in which Chyna took all of her and Dream's belongings and peaced out on Rob. But through it all, even as his family points out how toxic things are, even as he and Chyna fight viciously, Rob is adamant that he's going to make things work with Chyna.
Why? Well, in part because he has, as Khloé explains it, a conception of family as a mother and a father and a baby, all living together happily under one roof. But Rob also wants to secure a second season of Rob & Chyna, which is ... misguided. At best. The family has a meeting to discuss it (Rob only participates via phone) and it's one of the more intense, unguarded fights we've seen them have. It's not surprising that Kendall and Kylie immediately ask why they're even talking about a reality show, not talking about helping Rob, who's still depressed. They're the ones who were put on reality TV as kids, and they see the show as just that - a show. Kourtney, Kim, Khloé, and Kris think of it more as a job. Everyone thinks it's a bad idea and that Rob is too irrational to do the right thing on his own, which is … sad. And probably accurate. (They also briefly discuss using the show as a bribe to make Rob go to therapy, which is also pretty fucking sad.)
Hey, Where's Kanye? No updates on how Kanye's doing after his breakdown - Kim only mentions him once, or twice if you count Yeezys product placement? But the fight about Rob, Chyna, and their show underscored something that Kim and Kanye did really right. They figured out how to be married before they put their marriage on TV. I rolled my eyes frequently and hard at how absent Kanye was in his early seasons, but now it feels less like him being a diva and more like them actually being intentional about their relationship. WONDERS NEVER CEASE.
Cait versus Kris, Round 1 Million: There's a brief and fragile peace between Caitlyn and Kris early in the episode, when Caitlyn brings a fancy facialist over to Kris's house for a couple's treatment. It's awkward but they're friendly enough. But all that changes when Caitlyn slides a copy of her book across the counter for Kris to read. This isn't a case of "Read this and give me your feedback!" or, "Read this and tell me if you disagree!" - it's "Here's my finished book! Enjoy!"
Kris isn't happy with it and strongly disagrees with Caitlyn's characterization of their life together. Kris thinks of her years married to Caitlyn when she was living as Bruce as a happy time, but for Caitlyn, they were miserable. Caitlyn's version of events does sound particularly harsh on Kris, but I'll reserve judgment until I've actually read the book. Regardless, Kris is deeply hurt, saying she's never been so angry at or disappointed with someone as she is in Caitlyn. She's done with the relationship and she sounds like she actually means it this time. (…Does this mean she's going to change her last name?)
But if Kris were truly livid, wouldn't she have kept mentions of Caitlyn's book out of the show altogether? Doesn't featuring it on the show make it more likely for people to buy it? It's not like a huge majority of people are going to refuse to buy or read the book out of loyalty to Kris Jenner. (Sorry!)
OK, But Seriously, Why Are You Wearing That? Kendall spent an extended scene of the episode wearing an oversize, orange, furry coat. "What, did you have to skin a Muppet to make that coat?" is a pretty tired joke but oh my god, it looks like she skinned a Muppet. Or maybe poached the Lorax. It's made funnier by the fact that she's wearing it as she does a terrible job of driving Kris around L.A.
Reality TV Is Fake: Because Khloé's name change (back to Kardashian) is almost complete, there's a lot of talk about what she should do with mementos of her marriage to Lamar. Kim introduces the idea of an "ex box" - a container of items that remind you of a past relationship. That part was fine, but then everyone SAYS EX BOX OVER AND OVER, taking it from "organic family activity" to "concerted effort to create a subplot for our reality television program." I love episodes that take the Kardashians down memory lane, but when they're (ahem) boxed up so neatly, it's a little tiresome. It felt like a commercial for Kardashian Brand ex boxes - ex boKes?
Reality TV Is Real: The awkwardness in the room when Caitlyn (rightfully) shut down Kris's attempt to ask about gender confirmation surgery was palpable. Oof.
Last Words: "I don't have an ex box. I have a Playstation. In my pants." - Scott Disick, poet laureate.
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