Dr. Saturday - NCAAF

• Vuvuzela-free, and unproud. A Facebook-based campaign to flood the Ohio State-Penn State game with the notorious noisemakers popularized by the World Cup has been nipped in the bleating bud, as the conference itself put a sadly specific kibosh on the festivities months in advance:

The Big Ten has specific policies that do not allow irritants or noisemakers, so vuvuzelas would not be allowed.

The organizers have since refocused their energies on poor Eastern Michigan, and we're all left to grumble in the Big Ten's general direction, because the thought of inflicting these things on, say, the key-jangling crowds at Michigan proper is unbearably delicious. (Or, better yet, the down-in-front blue-hairs of Notre Dame. Now's the time to flex those I-A Independent muscles, Irish.)

• They don't say what kind of misconduct. Depending on who you talk to, Arizona WR Delashaun Dean is either serving an indefinite suspension or has been shown the door altogether by Mike Stoops, following a weekend arrest on charmingly-titled "Misconduct Involving Weapons" charges. We're going to venture out on what looks like a pretty sturdy limb here and assume this means he got a rocket launcher drunk. That has to be it.

• Absolutely nothing will happen, until it does. Rivals' Chip Brown tamps down expectations that the Big 12 might invite BYU to fill its ranks, but goes on to speculate that if the conference does (eventually!) look to re-expand, it would go in two entirely different directions:

[If] the Big 12 decided to truly get back to its name and add two teams, so it could have a championship game once again, don’t be surprised if the names Arkansas and Notre Dame are the only schools on the wish list. No matter how many years down the road that may be …

• It wasn't the heat; it was the humidity. You may find this hard to believe, but Robert Marve is getting into much less trouble at Purdue than he did at Miami. I know, right? He's described as "thriving" here, despite not even having the starting job locked down. Even his injuries are luckier: Marve tore his ACL last year, but was already out for the season under NCAA eligibility rules.

• Show parents, you make the internet go 'round. Let's see if we have this all straight: We've got DaVaris Daniels, a hot Illinois WR prospect, calling off a Tuesday press conference at which he was expected to announce he's signing with Miami. We've got his dad, Phillip Daniels of the Georgia Bulldogs and assorted NFL teams, (allegedly) taking to the comments section of a Chicago newspaper to defend his son's grades, which were (allegedly) not up to snuff for Notre Dame, hence the choice of the 'Canes. And we've got the dad's continued consternation over Georgia's failure to turn their recruiting tractor beams on his son. Yeah, this'll end beautifully for all involved.

• Doesn't he like low scores anymore? However Tommy Tuberville was spending his time away from the college coaching ranks, safe to say it wasn't golfing.

Quickly: Arizona's licking its chops at the thought of surmounting depleted programs at Oregon and USC ... Bill Snyder wants the Big 12's remaining schools to go with five-team divisions ... Our own Chris Brown on the evolution of the spread ... USC coaches circle the wagons for Seantrel Henderson ... Georgia's got their young quarterbacklet bubble-wrapped in case of trouble ... The world's biggest Dameyune Craig fan is in the fold at Florida State ... There's a relatively simple, fiscal explanation for BCS games losing title sponsors ... And just because it's Wednesday, video of LSU's Tiger Girl tryouts.

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Matt Hinton is on vacation this week. Holly welcomes your adulation and veiled threats at nastinchka-at-yahoo, etc.

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