Dr. Saturday - NCAAF

Now, why on earth does this guy think anyone could mistake him for a creepy old man?

Yes, there is a picture, ladies, as if you needed it after being slain by the debonair prose of our online de Bergerac. A brief translation to reality:

"Traveling on business": Picking up brother from airport on return from "amateur" adult-film festival in Cleveland.
"HUMMER": Scoped sitting in a driveway two streets over, while riding bike. (Eco-friendly, bro!)
"Must look GOOD": Must not be a dude.
"Right to refuse": Handy excuse for why no one in a bikini actually washed his HUMMER.
"Personal use": Easy ten bucks from www.creepycarwashes.com!
"The guys": There are no guys. But only because no one he knows meets his standards.

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Hat tip: Bryan, via EDSBS, who has discovered his real-life Subcommandate Wayne.
Matt Hinton is on Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.

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