Ball Don't Lie - NBA

You're not being very nice to your teammate, Taj Gibson(notes). See how Ronnie Brewer(notes) and Joakim Noah(notes) are smiling and clapping for Derrick Rose(notes)? How supportive and attentive they're being? Even Ron Adams is clapping and coming kind of close to smiling.

And yet there you are, with your one-way ticket to Frowntown. That's not the face of someone who wants juice, Taj. Or cookies. Or a story. Or "Cars" on Blu-Ray. You're cruising for a timeout, Mister Sweatpants. Just try me.

Best caption wins no dessert after dinner, if you think I'm not being serious. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Not very sexy, Dirk Nowitzki(notes). You think Chippendales takes just any ol' body? You'd best think again.

Winner, Jones6: "A colonoscopy could save your life, Dirk."

Runner-up, STARDESTROYER: Time-traveler Bob Delaney informs Dirk Nowitzki how many times he will have reached the NBA finals by the end of his career.

Second runner-up, Tyler: Delaney: "You're not fooling anyone, Nowitzki. The next screw that falls out will be you."

Nowitzki: "Eat my shorts."

Delaney: "What was that?"

Nowitzki: "Eat. My. Shorts."

Delaney: "You just bought yourself another Saturday."

Nowitzki: "Ooh, I'm crushed."

Delaney: "You just bought one more."

Nowitzki: "Well, I'm free the Saturday after that. Beyond that, I'm going to have to check my calendar."

Delaney: "Good, 'cause it's going to be filled. We'll keep going. You want another one? Just say the word, say it. Instead of going to prison you'll come here. Are you through?"

Nowitzki: "No."

Delaney: "I'm doing society a favor."

Nowitzki: "So?"

Delaney: "That's another one, right now! I've got you for the rest of your natural born life if you don't watch your step. You want another one?"

Nowitzki: "Yes."

Delaney: "You got it! You got another one right there! That's another one, pal!"

NOTE: The only thing missing is J.J. Barea(notes) yelling for Dirk to cut it out, then mouthing, "Stop." Quality commitment to the bit.

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