January 29, 2010
BREAKFAST NOOK (JE) — An Evian water bottle has filed a lawsuit against Cavaliers' superstar LeBron James(notes) in connection with the injuries it suffered during an on-court attack in Cleveland on Jan. 27.
The water bottle's lawyer, Johnny Springs, said in a statement that the lawsuit filed Friday in a Cleveland District Court accuses James of civil conspiracy, assault, battery, negligence and outrageous aqua-pessimism.
According to several fictitious media outlets, other defendants in the lawsuit include Cavaliers coach Mike Brown, teammate Shaquille O'Neal(notes) and the global fast-food giant McDonald's — James' new partner.
The Cavaliers released a "statement" from general manager Danny Ferry:
"The Cavaliers are aware of reports circulating to the effect a lawsuit has been commenced by an inanimate object in relation to the Jan. 27, 2010, Minnesota Timberwolves vs. Cleveland Cavaliers game. To date, the Cavs' organization has no additional information and accordingly have no further comment at this time."
The lawsuit suit asks for damages, but doesn't give a dollar (or fluid ounce) amount.
The water bottle suffered a fractured bottle cap and extensive structural damage in the first quarter of the January game at Quickens Loan Arena, after James kicked it from behind into the stands, spraying several fans with its bott-ily fluids.
The attack was viewed as revenge for an incident involving the water bottle and James a week earlier.
In a Jan. 21 contest between the Lakers and Cavaliers in Cleveland, the bad blood— er, water began between Evian and James after the bottle leaked a questionable drop of lukewarm H20 to the chest of the Cavs forward.
No foul was called and no action taken by the NBA in the days that followed.
After the game, James called Evian water a joke, while O'Neal indicated a bounty had been placed on the French brand of mineral water's cap.
According to the State, the lawsuit alleges James, Brown, O'Neal and McDonald's (who bottle and distribute their own brand of water, Dasani) entered into "an unlawful plan and agreement to assault, batter and injure the Evian water bottle at a future date for the wet jersey that James had suffered during the Jan. 21 game."
Six days later, the incident occured.
In the meantime, James has been fined $25,000 by the NBA for kicking the water bottle.