January 17, 2008
What exactly happened during the session is unknown."
Pacers coach Jim O'Brien: "Here's where I want you to shoot a three-pointer, squaddle deedle-dee, shoot another three-pointer here, blippity bloop ..."
Tinsley: "Why'd you have to sit like that?"
Obie: "Like what?"
JT: "Like that?"
Obie: "I'm standing. Like where?"
JT: "In the coaches photo. You sit, three guys stand to your right, two to your left. It's unseemly. It's off-kilter. Geometrically uncouth. An affront to my sensibilities!"
Obie: "I don't understand what that has to ..."
JT: "I come into work almost every day, see that picture hanging in the hallway, and I have to touch 14 doorknobs and David Harrison's neckbeard just to get back to normal."
Obie: "Like you can talk, remember that Pistons game where you let Jeff Foster touch your head in the first quarter?"
Obie: "Creepy guy went off for nine first half rebounds."
Obie: "Comes off the bench in the third quarter, wants to touch
the head again, and what do you do?"
JT: "Is this about the towel?"
Obie: "Yeah, ‘it's about the towel.'"
JT: "I don't understand what the problem is. It was an affront to my sensibilities. It had to stop. Like the dye-job."
Obie: "What dye-job?"
JT: "You've been a head coach for seven years now. All this time you've had sideburns the color of cooked halibut, some white directly above it, and then jet-black hair."
Obie: "First off, quit comparing colors to "cooked halibut." Dunleavy Jr. cried for weeks the first time you tried that. Secondly, yeah, I'm getting older. It's what happens."
JT: "No, no it's not 'what happens.' If it's 'what happens,' then it would be blended. You don't go from stark white to dark black in half a centimeter. How do you think I feel when Stephen Jackson texts me to tell me that my coach and Bonnie Raitt share a barber? It's an affront to my sensibilities!"
Obie: "Say that one more time, and you're suspended."
JT: "A suspension without pay?"
JT: "But that would be an affront to my sensibilities!"
And ... scene.
Somebody better get traded soon. I'm all out.