April 23, 2009
Trey Kerby of The Blowtorch searches high and low across the Internets for NBA-related goods you never knew you needed. You know, phenomenal swag. E-mail Ball Don't Lie any relevant products you find here.
If your Mom gave you a boring name like Larry Johnson, then you have to do something to make you special. You could, for instance, become a very good football player who disgraces the good name of Roc-A-Fella. You could get pulled over by some bumbling cops who can't stop meowing. Or you could engage in a national advertising campaign that has you dressing up like an 80-year old woman. And if you choose that last one, somebody will make an awesome hat about it some 15 years after the fact.
That's right, a "Grandmama" hat exists (scroll down). Breezy Excursion, a streetwear brand from San Jose, California, has recently released a hat emblazoned with Larry Johnson's terrifically bizarre alter-ego. It's one of those hats that's made to be worn way too big and with a flat bill, but don't let that discourage you because it really is a hot fitted. Better hurry though, the matching shirt they were selling is already sold out, so this surely won't last too long either. And trust me, you don't want to be stuck with that "Monstars" lid.
Now we just need Converse to re-re-release the Aero Jams ...
Ball Don't Lie's Swag Rating: Five Muggsy Bogues!