Ball Don't Lie - NBA

Charles Oakley has been active in business ventures since he retired from the game in '04 — producing and starring in his own cooking show; operating a steakhouse in South Beach; operating a car wash in Yonkers; golfing with Michael Jordan; and intimidating strangers — but he's now looking to return to the NBA as an assistant coach.

The former Knick would prefer a player development role on the team he joins.

"I think I have a lot to teach these young guys," Oakley told Joe Brescia of The New York Times. "Especially on the defensive end."

Oakley has witnessed the success former-New York teammate Patrick Ewing has had in Houston and Orlando, and has lobbied to Knicks president Donnie Walsh for a stint with the team, saying that he could have the same type of success, but with more technicals, of course.

"Nowadays, you may have better athletes," Oak preached. "But unless they're taught, they aren't going to do anything in the league. I talked with Donnie after the last home game and told him that I think I have a lot to offer this team. You can't just score more points than last year without playing defense."

I could waste a million words telling you why this absolutely needs to happen, or I could just show you this classic YouTube clip of Oakley slapping around a young Scottie Pippen. Let's go with the latter.

You're next, Jordan Hill(notes)!

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