Ball Don't Lie - NBA

Zach Feinstein is a 5'8", 130 pound, D-III junior out of Washington University in St. Louis who hasn't played organized basketball since the mid-90's, but that hasn't stopped him from officially declaring for the 2008 NBA Draft.

Yesterday, the potential draftee took time out of his busy Systems Engineering and Applied Mathematics exam studying schedule to answer a few questions about the upcoming Draft, his game and more.

Ball Don't Lie: When David Stern reads your name on June 26th, we can only imagine you'll be the happiest 5'8", 130 pounder on earth. If you happen to be a first round pick, you'll become an instant millionaire. What do plan on doing with the money?

Zach Feinstein:
I would pay Charles Barkley to scream "FEINSTEIN!" for an entire episode of "Inside the NBA" like he does "GINOBILI!"

BDL: You claim to have not played organized basketball since Bill Clinton was President. Is this a case of you just saving yourself for the grueling NBA season, or is there an injury we're not aware of?

Feinstein: The NBA season is grueling? I thought sitting on a bench for 82 games a year would be rather easy.

BDL: Which NBA player do you feel your skills most closely resemble? Describe your game for those who haven't had a chance to see you play.

Feinstein: Well, I have already said Herm Klotz, but if we are looking for a more recent player I have a combination of the ball control skills of Shawn Bradley and the frame of Muggsy Bogues. My game involves a lot of uncoordinated button smashing on a PS2 controller.

BDL: What aspect of your game needs the most work?

Feinstein: The basketball part.

Unlike some recent young'n's (Oden, Durant), you waited to enter the draft last year, even though most (see: your friends and family) projected you as a lottery pick. What made you decide to wait?

Feinstein: I've been waiting for the HGH to kick in. I'm still waiting, but my "physician" claims I should grow five inches by September. (Note: I have never taken steroids or HGH and I neither endorse nor condone the illegitimate use of Human Growth Hormone or any other pharmaceuticals in sports even if your wife happens to be in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.)

BDL: With all due respect to Dolph Schayes and Yotam Halperin, what is the significance of possibly being the greatest Jewish basketball star ever?

Feinstein: Does this mean I will be included in the pamphlet "Great Jews in Sports"?

BDL: Do you see yourself as more of a point guard or center?

Depends if I am playing against elementary school kids or not.

BDL: You have played dozens of brilliant pick-up games at the local Y. Which game (or moment) do consider to be the best in your life so far?

Feinstein: You got a bad tip, all my brilliant games have come at my local middle school. But the best moment came in the 9th grade when I got a legitimate block (my only one ever) on a 6'1" British kid during lunch.

BDL: Do you have a nickname yet? Can I call you the 'Zachary Daiquiri'?

'Zachary Daiquiri': I will be accepting submissions for nicknames through the end of the day Saturday. At which point I will choose the top three, and then have a vote for my nickname. But, I can't really stop people from calling me the "Zachary Daiquiri" if they want. (Oh, and if any bar wants to make a drink by that name I will accept it as an endorsement.)

BDL: What NBA team would you most like to play for?

Feinstein: Hands down the 1994 New York Knicks.

Be sure to check out for detailed scouting reports, stats and pictures. And for even more information on 'The Daiquiri,' check out Hugging Harold Reynolds' excellent two-part interview

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