If you’ve been paying attention, you may have noticed the fashionable design choice of the Olympic speed skaters’ uniforms, specifically the inner thigh region. The majority of the suits are a solid blue color, highlighted by large gray ovals on the area of the body that is, well, an area of anatomy typically only discussed after some serious wining and dining.
The explanation from the uniform design company, Under Armour, is of course science-based: “ArmourGlide”. (insert bad joke here)
“ArmourGlide” is a super slick material that apparently reduces friction up to 65%, which I’m told tops the varnish and lubricant charts made famous by world-renowned expert, Clark W. Griswold (that was bad joke).
So why the “ArmourGlide” development for 2018?
Under Armour was under pressure (see what I did there?) after the 2014 Sochi Olympics speed skater uniform disaster. The uniforms were completely ditched half-way through the 2014 games and Team USA failed to medal in speed skating for the first time in 30 years. The determined reason was the high-tech “skin suit” developed with design assistance from aerospace and defense giant, Lockheed Martin.
The 2018 sequel to the “skin-suit” was “ArmourGlide” or what I’m referring to as “Olympic crotch-pants”.
As you can imagine, twitter’s finest had a few opinions on the matter.
The US Olympic committee should be fined then fired for approving those embarrassingly bad speed skater’s uniforms. Check out the crotch area. Horrible!
— (((Elvis)))✊Support our Brothers &Sisters (@elviscoal) February 19, 2018
Yo whoever designed the US speed skater uniforms is either a comedian, a pervert or both ♂️
— richDollaz (@r33p04s) February 15, 2018
— Lance Cranmer (@ChuckRamner) February 15, 2018
— Emily Mellott (@eamellott) February 18, 2018
Under Armour has yet to define publicly whether or not “ArmourGlide” can be produced in any color other than gray, which would explain the reason for highlighting the athlete’s nether-regions.
More Olympic coverage from Yahoo Sports:
• Russian curler formally charged with doping in PyeongChang
• Ice dancer on wardrobe malfunction: ‘It was my worst nightmare’
• Adam Rippon won’t actually be an NBC Olympic correspondent
• Vonn playing ‘mind games’ after third-place training run
• Gold medalist comforts silver medalist in true Olympic moment