Matt Bonner inks deal with Spurs, looks to spend it all on meat

Trey Kerby

If there are two things most people know about Matt Bonner(notes), they are that he has red hair and that the majority of his contributions to the San Antonio Spurs are based around his ability to shoot three pointers. Coming in third on the list of well-known Matt Bonner facts is that he loves sandwiches more than anything in the whole wide world. This guy loves sandwiches so much that he has a web series called "Matt Bonner's Sandwich Hunter: The Quest for the Hoagie Grail" that is currently on its 26th entry. That is a serious love of sandwiches, you guys. Not to mention, "Quest for the Hoagie Grail" is an excellent name for anything sandwich related.

Thanks to the Spurs — who just gave Bonner a 4 year, $16 million contract — the red-headed sharpshooter can now afford a lot of sandwiches. Like, so many sandwiches it's sickening. And, as he told the San Antonio Express-News' Mike Finger, he's going all out on the sandwich tip.

So after signing the largest contract of his life Tuesday, the longtime Pontiac Grand Prix driver and delicatessen aficionado embarked on a new age of outlandish spending.

"When I splurge," Bonner said, "I'm going to order double meat on my sandwich."

There is no finer indulgence in the history of man than double meat on a sandwich. Plus, the odds of going broke doubling down on some thinly sliced turkey and roast beef are pretty slim. So basically, it's the perfect purchase. Typical Spurs.

And if this wasn't the holly-jolliest free agency signing ever, Spurs general manager R.C. Buford made sure it was in the running by offering a nice little quip about this summer's nonsense.

After four years in San Antonio, Bonner said his first choice when he became a free agent this summer was to stay put, and general manager R.C. Buford said bringing him back was a top priority.

Both sides just had to wait until the NBA's free-agent dominos started to fall, starting with mega-prize LeBron James(notes).

"Matt was just next," Buford said in a deadpan perhaps inspired by his newest signee, "right after LeBron."

Check out these guys with their jokey-jokes and laughy-laughs. It almost makes it worth paying a 30-year-old jump shooting big man who took a step back last season $4 million in each of the next four years. In fact, if there's going to be zingers like this during that time frame, this could go down as the free agency signing of the summer.