This Man Wants To Know If He Went Too Far By Walking Out On His Girlfriend For How She Eats Pasta, And People Have Big Opinions
If you're an avid reader of the Am I The Asshole subreddit like myself, you know it's a treasure trove of hot takes, bad behavior, and even the elusive gray area.
Fox
Today's edition of possible A-holery has to do with table manners. This Reddit user wants to know if he's the A-hole for leaving a date with his girlfriend because she ordered spaghetti at a restaurant.
ABC
Let's back up a little: The OP and his girlfriend, Ally, moved in together five months ago and are very much in love, but there's just one problem...
"Ally just doesn't have great table manners. She eats noisily and sloppily. In a restaurant environment, usually this isn't too bad because of the natural ambient sound. In a quiet room, it's much more noticeable. I don't exactly like it, but usually I can tolerate it."
DreamWorks
"However, when Ally eats pasta, she slurps her noodles so loudly that people from other tables look. It's completely mortifying to hear people murmur about her loud slurping all the time. I know this might be normal in some cultures, but from where I'm from in the US, it looks really uncultured and bothers some people who are more sensitive to sounds. I've tried to teach her how to use a spoon to spin the pasta into a ball. Nope, she doesn't want to. I've tried to ask her to take smaller bites. Nope! That's how she eats pasta and that's how she'll always eat pasta. We've been to a local Italian restaurant half a dozen times, and each time but one (in a basically empty restaurant) she humiliated me with her loud slurpy eating."
New Line Cinema
The OP acknowledges that he shouldn't care what other people think, but, "It's disgusting. People are trying to enjoy a meal."
Lifetime
Finally, OP decides he's had enough and tells Ally he doesn't want to eat noodles with her in public anymore. He'll drive her to the restaurant so she can eat alone, or she's more than welcome to enjoy her noodle-y meals with friends. She kind of brushes him off, and that's the end of the conversation.
NBC
Fast-forward to recently, and Ally tells the OP that she really wants to go out and eat at their go-to Italian spot. He asks her if she'll be ordering the spaghetti, and she tells him no, she'll order the lasagna instead. So, he agrees.
Paramount
HOWEVER, once they're seated at the restaurant and the server asks for their order, Ally goes back on her word and orders the spaghetti after all.
NBC
The second the OP hears this, he tells their server he won't be ordering after all, stands up, walks out of the restaurant, and "relaxes" in the car listening to a podcast until Ally joins him a little while later. She gives him the silent treatment on the ride home.
E!
Once they're back at the house, Ally yells at the OP for embarrassing her and only wants to hear an apology. The OP doesn't give her one, so she goes into the other room "to loudly talk shit about [him] to herself." Now he's wondering if he went too far.
In the comment section of the Reddit thread, plenty of people chimed in to say that slurping and noticeably bad table manners in public are not OK, and despite being pretty harsh, the OP wasn't the A-hole in the situation:
"I have to go with [not the a-hole]. If she’s slurping loud enough to draw attention every time she has noodles, that’s too much. And it’s not like you’re telling her she’s not allowed to eat noodles, just not at a restaurant with you. She can make spaghetti at home."
"Being in the comfort of your own home is one thing, but it’s not that hard to clean up and change manners when out in public, in fact it’s quite easy. The way you dealt with it wasn’t great however you did warn her and she didn’t handle the situation well either."
"She also intentionally changed her order despite knowing how much it bothered you, and you did give her fair warning you wouldn’t eat pasta with her in a sit down restaurant. Ironic she’s mad at you for embarrassing her once when she’s been embarrassing you repeatedly with this."
However, others disagreed, thought the OP was in the wrong, and also that the relationship probably isn't built to last if this is such a big issue.
"[You're the a-hole] for not breaking up with her already if this is annoying you that much. You'd been to this restaurant at least six times with her before this 'incident.' If you guys stay together, are you just going to forbid her from eating noodles ever again? Are you going to sit in the car whenever there's noodles on the menu in case she wants them? If it's that big of an issue where you can't move past it, then break up."
"This is bizarre and controlling on your part. Why are you more concerned about negative judgments from strangers than respect for your partner and their enjoyment of their meal? I have a feeling this is a much bigger, more generalized problem for you that will pop up both in your relationship with her and with others.
Honestly, I can't decide where I stand on this! What are your thoughts? Do you think the OP was in the wrong for leaving the restaurant and making a scene, or do you think his GF needs to learn to keep her noodle-eating in check? Tells us in the comments!
And for more drama-filled stories — like the husband who left his wife behind in coach, the mother-in-law displaying pics of her son's ex, and more — click here.
