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Kyrie Irving is talking about the flat Earth again, and as the official chronicler of his theory, I feel obligated to keep you posted. If you’re not caught up by now, you might as well run through these:
• Hey everyone, just so you know: Kyrie Irving believes the Earth is flat
• Kyrie Irving doubles down on his flat-Earth theory and can now control his dreams
• Guys, Kyrie Irving just wants to “have that open conversation” about the flat Earth
• “Yeah, so, Kyrie Irving thinks there’s “not one real picture of Earth”
All caught up now? Good. Let’s move on, and by move on I mean listen to the first 11:45 of Philadelphia 76ers guard J.J. Redick’s podcast with the Boston Celtics star, because, hoo boy, do they get into it:
Here’s what we learned: Kyrie Irving, a 25-year-old four-time All-Star in the NBA, after months of telling us the intent behind sharing his flat-Earth theory was for us to, “Do your own research,” revealed that the research that formed his theory was “watching a whole bunch of Instagram videos.”
Among the Instagram pages Irving follows is this one: world.is.flat, which posts stuff like this:
Not to worry. Kyrie and J.J. didn’t stop there. Irving also informed us that he’s been doing research on chemtrails. For the uninformed, these are the trails you see behind jets in the sky, which, according to conspiracy theory, are actually chemicals used to, among other things, control the human population.
Redick shared his belief that, “I’m not entirely convinced that dinosaurs existed,” which Irving of course agreed with, and then the conversation took a turn. A turn, you say? How could an exchange about flat Earth, chemtrails and fake dinosaurs take a turn? Here’s how: A 9/11 conspiracy theory.
Thankfully, Redick steered the conversation away from that subject, because I, for one, am not prepared to hear what Irving has to say about “Loose Change,” a film that suggests the September 11 attacks were a false flag operation. I will choose to believe that Kyrie is not on board with that theory.
They then discussed a Taco Bell commercial that draws parallels between the Illuminati and chalupas:
And, finally, Irving opened a window into his soul:
“For me, spiritual alchemy is something that I’m huge in. I don’t even want to say huge in — it’s something that I’m just so much more aware of. You know the seven chakras; instead, we have eight. And your third eye being in the middle of your forehead and awakening that. And I felt like ever since I took meditation to another level and figuring out the research behind that and figuring out how knowledgeable I can become and being just enriched, and that enriching my soul rather than realizing that this physical realm that I live in and I exist in is the only thing that’s available to me. And it connected me more to Nikola Tesla, and then I started taking specific individuals throughout history that have been telling us things that just, either they perished before their time or they were supposedly taken out or something that they said that was just so thought-provoking that they just went from a genius to being a crazy person, and then society just exes them like, ‘No, we don’t want to believe anything you say anymore and you’re a crazy man.’
“Did you see what Jim Carrey did? Jim Carrey came out of nowhere and was just like, ‘I was in solitude, and I’m just it now.’ You know? Like, OK, Jim. People were like, ‘Yo, what’s going on with Jim Carrey?’ He came out of nowhere with it, and it made sense, though. But for everyone else, they were like, ‘I’m not Jim Carrey.’”
Kyrie is Carrey. Carrey is Kyrie. Finkle is Einhorn. It’s all beginning to make sense. We are just it now.
By the way, here’s what Jim Carrey did:
“So, you step through the door not knowing what’s on the other side,” says Carrey, who maybe believes Andy Kaufman took over his body or something, “and what’s on the other side is everything.”
There is no ceiling for the Boston Celtics anymore. They’re in the hands of the all-seeing eye now.
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