33 Astute Observations About The World That Are Equal Parts Horrifying, Hilarious, And Profound

·4 min read

Sometimes, you hear a comment that makes you stop and consider the world as you know it. So I rounded up some pretty spectacular human observations and thoughts from the Subreddit, r/showerthoughts. The following ideas are a mix of truly profound, horribly sad, cackle-worthy funny, and everything in between.

1."Your dog thinks 'fetch' is a game that the two of you made up, and he loves you for that."

A dog with a ball in his mouth.
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2."Being an adult is eating the crust not because you like it, but because you paid for it."

Pizza crust left in the box.
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3."When you're a kid, you don't realize you're also watching your mom and dad grow up."



4."We laugh at animals for having funny mating rituals but humans probably have the most complex and frustrating mating rituals of all."

Two birds doing a mating ritual.
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5."The last 10% of a tube of toothpaste lasts about as long as the first 90%."

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6."Your face is a combination of thousands of years worth of other people’s faces."



7."The concept of a hotdog being puréed meat in animal casing means that a hotdog doesn’t stop being a hotdog even after we eat it. By that conclusion, we, as the hotdog’s casing, become hotdogs ourselves when we eat hotdogs."

A hand holding a hotdog.
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8."Light bulbs were such a good idea that they actually became a symbol for a good idea."



9."If you are alone and you crack open a peanut shell to eat the peanut inside, you are the only person in the world to have ever seen that peanut."

A pile of peanuts.
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10."If you add vanilla to a chocolate recipe, it's still a chocolate recipe. But if you add chocolate to a vanilla recipe it becomes a chocolate recipe."

A pint of chocolate ice cream.
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11."There is no physical evidence to say that today is Saturday, Monday or Wednesday. We all just have to trust that someone has kept count since the first one ever."



12."The tallest person in the world has, at some point, physically experienced being the exact height of every other person in the world."



13."Every time you check your pockets for my wallet, keys, and phone, you do 25% of the Macarena."

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14."I mostly use my driver's license to buy things that impairs my ability to drive."

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15."The degree to which a person hates mosquitoes is typically dependent on how much mosquitoes love them."



16."The voice in your head has grown up with you and, at one point, was a child."



17."Both concrete and glass are mostly made of sand, which essentially makes skyscrapers really, really tall sandcastles."

Skyscrapers in the clouds.
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18.“'Let sit for 2 minutes' is definitely the most ignored instruction among microwave users."

A person putting a pizza in the microwave.
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19."If a morgue worker dies they'd still need to come into the office one more time."



20."Babysitters are teenagers who behave like grown-ups so that grown-ups can go out and behave like teenagers."



21."When you buy pizza by the slice from a pizzeria, you're pretty much having a pizza party with a bunch of strangers that day."



22."When you look at the stars, you become the final, unique resting place for billions of photons that travelled thousands of light years only to make your life a little brighter."

A person looking at the stars.
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23."It's surprising there aren't any conspiracy theories that the ocean is bottomless because most people have never been to the sea floor."



24."A different version of you exists in the minds of every single person who knows you."



25."Airports should really have movie theaters for layovers. They would make a killing."

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26."It's 2021, and not one cereal company has created Ziploc bags for cereal."



27."For the first eight minutes of your life, the sunlight around you is older than you are."



28."If the earth was flat, you can bet 'the edge' would be one of the biggest tourist attractions in the world".



29."We have all, at one point, kicked a pregnant woman."



30."A McDonald’s on Mars would be open 25 hours and 687 days a year."

A McDonald's meal.
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31."You can know someone for years and not know what color their eyes are."

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32."In the future, Google Earth will be able to offer entire views of the world as it was hundreds of years ago."



33."It's extremely common for babies to fall asleep and wake up in different locations all the time, but as an adult that idea terrifying."

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