Here's that Latvian rap song about Kristaps Porzingis you wanted

You know what? I've been so wrapped up in all the free-agent wheeling and dealing that I haven't checked in on Kristaps Porzingis' Twitter account recently. Inexcusable, I know. So let's see what's up with everyone's favorite (OK, "favorite") brand new member of the New York Knicks:

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Yes, let's check out that song as soon as is humanly possible:

That, friends, is "#PORZIŅĢIS" by Latvian musical act Transleiteris — like you need me to introduce them; you're probably still bumping "Brālis Luī" and their take on "Gangnam Style" — and I think it's technically the song of the summer?

Sure, it's catchy as all get out, but you don't really "get it" unless you dive head-first into the lyrics, helpfully translated from Latvian by r/NBA user obliviouspeninsula. Here's a taste, though I wholeheartedly encourage you to pore over them in their entirety:

I see the most beautiful girl in the club
And tell her: I am your destiny
But she says to me, you're not tall
.. Kristaps.. PORZIŅĢIS (x6) [...]

I'm ice, honey, painting, sausage, yeah, yeah, yeah
Meanwhile Kristaps is getting buckets in the NBA, yeah, yeah, yeah
Meaning, fence, steel, cookie, blackness, yeah, yeah, yeah
Rarity, Age, luxury, pride, drinker yeah, yeah, yeah

A humble request of the Knicks' game operations crew: Please strongly consider cutting up the "KRISTAPS PORZIŅĢIS" part of the song and deploying it liberally throughout the 2015-16 season. Doesn't have to be every time he checks into the game or scores. Doesn't even have to be every night. But if you're going to go all-in on the future by taking a swing at the skilled 7-foot-1 shooter, you might as well celebrate him with full-throated, bass-booming Latvian rap music at least part of the time. That's just smart asset allocation, really.

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Dan Devine is an editor for Ball Don't Lie on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at or follow him on Twitter!

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