Guys tell us what they wish their partners knew about erection problems

Erection problems can be a difficult condition to talk about, but it’s even tougher when you feel like your partner doesn’t really understand.

We spoke to several men over 40 in the UK and asked them what they would like their other halves to know when they are experiencing sex issues.

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It’s not you, it’s me

“This is my issue,” says Ewan. “My partner should understand it’s not about my attraction to her, or anything like that. She shouldn’t take offence and think it’s something that she has done. She also shouldn’t get upset if medication is necessary. You don’t get upset if someone takes a paracetamol for their headache.”

I really am tired

“The perception is that men are always up for sex whatever the time, whatever the weather, but that’s not always true,” says Sam. “When you say you’re exhausted and are not up to it, everyone thinks it’s a lie. But it’s not. I had long days in the office and was working in the evenings at home as well. Partners don’t always understand that because of the stereotype about men wanting sex all the time.”

Pressure can be a killer

“As you get older and you have kids, you have sex less often,” says Gavin. “As a couple, you start to form perfect scenarios ready for the moment like kids being away, in hotel rooms or on holiday. If these dates become too infrequent there’s pressure to perform which can make it harder to ‘rise to the occasion’.”

I’m not the only one suffering, even if none of your friends admit it

“Very few men will tell their mates they have ED and it often seems like women don’t want to tell their friends that their partners might have it either,” says Simon. “I’d want them to know that a lot of men suffer from it. I’m not the only one and we’re not the only couple who’s going through this.”

It can be treated

“I guess that might not be true in every circumstance,” adds Simon, “but I want more women to understand that with treatment and a shift in sexual practices and attitudes, it can be fixable.”

It might be an underlying medical condition and that makes us worried

“As we get older, we’re constantly worried about what’s going on with our bodies,” explains Jack. “Every ache and pain becomes a big deal. So, if I’m suffering from erectile dysfunction, I’m not just thinking about my ability to satisfy my partner, but whether it’s a symptom of something else, like heart disease. I wish my wife would understand that anxiety.”

Sharing with you will help

“We don’t want to keep this hidden away, pretending everything is fine, making excuses,” says Aidan. “It’s really hard to tell your partner this, there are few things that make you feel more vulnerable. But telling you and feeling like you will understand and support me will really help improve the situation.”

Sexual health conditions are actually surprisingly common with 4.3 million men in the UK experiencing erectile problems*.

Getting hold of treatment for erectile dysfunction is more convenient than ever. VIAGRA Connect® is available without a prescription in the UK to help men with erectile dysfunction and is available to buy from the Pharmacy and registered online Pharmacies.

For more information on ED and VIAGRA Connect®, please visit:

VIAGRA Connect®: 50mg film coated tablets. Contains Sildenafil. For erectile dysfunction in adult men. Always read the leaflet. PP-VCO-GBR-0257

* men reporting occasional and frequent difficulty getting or maintaining an erection [ref. Kantar TNS Omnibus Survey Dec 2010 – in a survey of 1,033 men]

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