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Gossip: Chelsea 'make offer' for Messi and are ready to 'challenge' Man United for Bale

Chelsea could be set for a big spending spree – if reports are to be believed.
Chelsea could be set for a big spending spree – if reports are to be believed.

“Interesting juxtaposition” is a fun phrase that you can easily toss into conversation to make yourself sound clever. All you need is two contrasting things together, such as something beautiful next to something unsightly. Like a solitary rose growing on a muddy football pitch. Or an owl in a dustbin. Or Gabby Logan interviewing Steve Bruce.

And here’s a new one: Lionel Messi playing for Chelsea.

Juxtapositions don’t get much more disorienting than that – football’s most graceful man wearing the same odious colours that David Mellor once donned to make love*. It just doesn’t seem right, but it could happen – apparently.

The always reliable Daily Star reports today that the Blues have “made an offer” for the Barcelona superstar, as have Manchester City (Fabian Delph playing a one-two with Messi – that’s an interesting juxtaposition too).

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The Argentine’s contract expires at the end of the season and, despite reports only yesterday that he had signed a new one, the tabloid says he has “offers on the table” from the two Premier League clubs, plus Paris Saint-Germain (obviously).

Boosting the Blues’ cause is that Messi is reportedly “unsettled” by the “recent unrest in Catalonia” and is considering his Nou Camp future. He doesn’t want to be called up to fight in a civil war – not in a World Cup year.

Chelsea challenge Man Utd for Bale

In further unbelievably exciting news for Blues fans, the world’s best footballer could be joined at Stamford Bridge by the world’s best footballing Welshman. The Express says Chelsea have made an approach for Gareth Bale and are set to challenge Manchester United for the Real Madrid forward’s signature.

Real president Florentino Perez is reportedly ready to “cash in” on Bale following a string of injuries and the Blues have asked to be “kept informed” of developments, according to “sources close to Los Blancos” (Julien Faubert, perhaps?).

Gareth Bale could return to the Premier League
Gareth Bale could return to the Premier League

Meanwhile, the Mirror is claiming that Arsenal striker Olivier Giroud is being lined up for a “shock move” to Bayern Munich. The Frenchman has grown frustrated at being a back-up option at the Emirates, but he will reportedly get the chance to move to Germany and be a back-up to Robert Lewandowski instead, which is marginally less emasculating in the grand scheme of things.

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Also leaving the Gunners could be Jack Wilshere, who the Mail says has been offered £90,000 a week to quit north London at the end of the season and join Real Betis on a free transfer. They will probably be gazumped by Barcelona after he helps England win the World Cup though.

Elsewhere, Everton’s attempt to hire Watford manager Marco Silva has “failed” after the Toffees had a £10m offer for the Portuguese coach rejected (Telegraph), Hornets striker Stefano Okaka is wanted by “a host of Ligue 1 clubs” (Sun) and – most sensationally of all – John Stones has got a new tattoo on his left thigh of a “middle-aged man wearing glasses” and nobody knows who it is (Mail). At some angles it looks a bit like Sven Goran-Eriksson. Could the Swede and the Man City defender be an item?

*According to the Sun, September 7, 1992.

@darlingkevin