Devil Ball Golf - Golf

Disclaimer: Yes, this is Tiger gossip. If you don't want to read it, don't read it.

The Tiger Woods saga has pretty much run its course by this point; the only non-golf-centric publications still running regular Tiger updates are the bloodthirsty tabloids who'll feast on the story until Woods is but a dessicated corpse. And, as Woods himself demonstrated, in the absence of news — or if there's "only" on-course news — people will do what they can to make some headlines.

Which is apparently where one of the most outlandish new turns in the Tiger saga has come from. I didn't think that there was anything left in this story that could shock me, but the idea that Elin Woods could be seeking $750 million in a divorce settlement — no, there's no extra zero in that figure — did it.

A $750 million settlement? Really? For being the shamed wife? What Woods did within the bounds of his marriage was reprehensible, yes, but really — did Elin do anything worth $750 million? (We could argue whether Woods himself did, but that's a sociological and moral argument for another day.) It's such an insane figure, so out of connection to anything approaching reality, that it seems a manufactured story. Elin and the Woods children are, to this point, the only players in this entire drama who aren't coming out looking worse than they went in — but now, even Elin is getting smeared.

Turns out, perhaps there's more — or less — to this story than it appears. Matt Humphrey of the Orlando Sentinel did a wee bit of digging and poked some holes in the British-tabloid story that Elin was ready to file papers in "Orlando County Court" to cut loose Tiger. (For starters, Humphrey notes, it's "Orange County.") It seems this entire story stems from one "unnamed friend" and one particularly eye-catching article, nothing more. No papers have been filed, nothing. 

Maybe Elin dumps Tiger, maybe she doesn't. Maybe she walks away with enough money to buy her own Central American nation, maybe she doesn't. Either way, we'll see how it plays out.

The moral of the story: You can have a beautiful wife and kids; you can have truckloads of ladyfriends on call like pizza delivery services; you can be the greatest golfer in history and pile up wealth to the heavens. But not all three. That's just greedy, man.

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