Former teammates laud Wizards coach Randy Wittman's 'beautiful' wind instrument

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Former teammates laud Wizards coach Randy Wittman's 'beautiful' wind instrument
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  • Randy Wittman
    American basketball player and coach
  • Uwe Blab
    Basketball player
  • Dan Dakich
    American basketball player and coach

As my grandfather used to say, it's always a good time when Uwe Blab talks about cutting the cheese.

The erstwhile Indiana University center phoned into former college teammate Dan Dakich's ESPN 1070 radio show in Indianapolis, and the two Hoosiers had a discussion for the ages. They reminisced about the good ol' days, like when they hung out naked together on a couch and urinated on each other in the shower.

You know, the usual stuff.

Believe it or not, the conversation devolved from there — or evolved, depending on your appreciation for locker room humor — leading to an exchange between Blab and Dakich about another Indiana teammate, current Washington Wizards coach Randy Wittman, whose flair for flatulating apparently was phenomenal.

With a hat tip to Wizards blog Bullets Forever for the transcription, here's that exchange.

Dakich: "Randy Wittman used to be able to fart at will, right? Roll on his back?"

Blab: "Yeah, but that's not necessarily a special skill, I think a lot of guys have that skill."

Dakich: "Seriously? I don't know one other person who could do that."

Blab: "Didn't he do it in a tune too?"

Dakich: "There was some, yes. [laughs] I forgot about that. [Laughs, pounds table] I forgot it was musical, it was beautiful, really."

Considering I once walked the dorms of a Colby College basketball camp betting candy bars with fellow sixth-graders that my friend could pass gas 50 straight times, I can confirm Blab's assessment that crop dusting on command isn't all that uncommon, because I had a pillowcase full of Snickers as proof.

I do beg to differ with Blab on one point, though, since Wittman's wind is most definitely "a special skill." After all, the coach has broken a lot huddles on the bench over the years, and he certainly isn't the first person to make his way to Washington D.C. full of hot air. I smell a new Wizards halftime show.

Also, there is no truth to the rumor Wittman was behind the shooting of this Vine video of a glorious Morcin Gortat action figure to be given away when Washington hosts the Toronto Raptors on Jan. 31. 

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Ben Rohrbach

is a contributor for Ball Don't Lie and Shutdown Corner on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at rohrbach_ben@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter!