Roto Arcade - Fantasy


Each week the Noise highlights six unobvious names who he believes are destined to morph into human torpedos. For those playing the Lames home edition, each player must be started in at least 50 percent of Yahoo! leagues to qualify. As anaccountability advocate, results, whether genius or moronic, will post the following week using the scoring system listed here. Cyber-bullies, feel free to tweet your hindsight jabs here.

Philip Rivers(notes), SD, QB (Noise Week 5 QB Rank: 11, 92-percent started)
Matchup: at Oak

Rivers has raged in the early season ranking only behind Peyton Manning(notes) in points per week. His relationship with Antonio Gates(notes) is borderline disturbing. The dynamic duo is the true superhero combination in the AFC. Taking more chances downfield – he’s averaged 9.4 yards per attempt – he hasn’t skipped a beat sans disgruntled Vincent Jackson(notes). Yes, the crow has been difficult to swallow, but at least the Frank’s hot sauce has masked the bitter flavor. In the Black Hole a more peaceful, tranquil Rivers will flow. Last season in two games against the Raiders, the Chargers passer averaged a bland 250.5 yards, one touchdown and one interception per game. Because of Oakland’s inadequacies versus the run and due to the respect for Nnamdi Asomugha(notes), a heavy one-two punch of Mike Tolbert(notes) and Ryan Mathews(notes) should be expected. Keep in mind the Raiders have surrendered only 158.8 passing yards per game this season. Dip your oar somewhere else.

Fearless Forecast: 19-27, 209 passing yards, 1 passing touchdown, 1 interception, 13 fantasy points

Possible QB alternatives: Sam Bradford(notes) (at Det), Shaun Hill(notes) (vs. StL), Kevin Kolb(notes) (at SF), Ryan Fitzpatrick(notes) (vs. Jac), Matt Ryan(notes) (at Cle)

Adrian Peterson, Min, RB (Noise Week 5 RB Rank: 13, 99-percent started)
Matchup: at NYJ

Over the years when Peterson has been mentioned in this space he’s stepped up to the challenge and obliterated single-game rushing records. However, as Chris Johnson owners can attest, any player, no matter how talented, is susceptible to a dud game or two. For the Purple Jesus, Week 5 will be one such rare occasion. Every week a running back has rubbed jerseys with the Jets, he’s contacted gangrene. Ray Rice(notes) and Ronnie Brown(notes) both experienced the infection’s insufferable wrath earlier this year totaling a meager 97 yards on 32 carries (3.0 ypc). The acquisition of Randy Moss(notes) will undoubtedly curtail stacked boxes, but with the Jets now at full strength defensively containing Peterson is the No. 1 priority. Even minus man-eater Kris Jenkins(notes), New York has surrendered the fewest fantasy points to rushers this season. Unless an owner is gifted extraordinary alternatives (e.g. Peyton Hillis(notes) or Mike Tolbert), entertaining the idea of sitting one of the league’s premier backs is a silly risk. Still, the Jets are a constricting defense which is very capable of squeezing Peterson. The Noise may be Christine O’Donnell loony (Full disclosure: We’ve also dabbled in witchcraft, solely for the brew) but an All-Day letdown is within the realm of possibility.

Fearless Forecast: 20 carries, 82 rushing yards, 3 receptions, 13 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 9 fantasy points

Ray Rice, Bal, RB (Noise Week 5 RB Rank: 20, 83-percent started)
Matchup: vs. Den

Eerily similar to his slow start a season ago, the incognito Rice has yet to arrive in 2010. A burdensome early season slate and a tender knee have halted his production. Currently the 31st-best back in Fantasyland, he’s yet to cross the chalk, averaging a mediocre 76 total yards per game. Back close to full strength, he's expected to start and should show more explosiveness this week against Denver. However, despite the increased workload, owners should temper expectations. The Broncos trampled Chris Johnson a week ago holding the superstar rusher to 53 yards on 19 carries. On the season, no running back has broken the plane against them. Overall, Denver has conceded the second-fewest fantasy points to RBs. Better days are on the horizon for the exorbitant back (e.g. New England and Buffalo in Weeks 6 and 7). After another disappointing effort this will be your last chance to buy on the bear.

Fearless Forecast: 16 carries, 69 rushing yards, 3 receptions, 17 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 8 fantasy points

Matt Forte(notes), Chi, RB (Noise Week 5 RB Rank: 23, 95-percent started)
Matchup: at Car

Cockroaches, beetles, ants, no small insects could find a hole to scurry through the spaces, or lackthereof, the Bears offensive line have created. Though currently ranked as a strong RB2, Forte has yet to eclipse 3.0 yards per carry in any single game this season. His production has come exclusively through the air. Despite the ground game’s state of disrepair, Lovie Smith remains “committed” to it. However, don't expect a sudden turnaround this week in Carolina. The Panthers run defense demands respect. So far, it's conceded just 3.3 yards per carry to backs this season. No rusher has yet to surpass 85 rushing yards against it. John Fox’s club has struggled getting to the quarterback, but if Jon Beason(notes) and friends can successfully turn up the heat on Jay Cutler(notes) Todd Collins(notes), Forte’s receiving contributions could again be limited. Baby’s mama drama and a smack-down in New York; it’s been a great past few days for Forte. Until the running game rises from the grave, trust someone else.

Fearless Forecast: 13 carries, 36 rushing yards, 4 receptions, 27 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 6 fantasy points

Possible RB Alternatives: Peyton Hillis (vs. Atl), Mike Tolbert (at Oak), Ryan Torain(notes) (vs. GB), Thomas Jones(notes) (at Ind), Michael Bush(notes) (vs. SD), Fred Jackson(notes) (vs. Jac)

Terrell Owens(notes), Cin, WR (Noise Week 5 WR Rank: 29, 69-percent started)
Matchup: vs. TB

For those who believed the T.O. show was on the brink of cancellation, Week 4 was a reminder ratings are still strong. Captivating fanatical audiences against Buckeye State rival Cleveland, Owens hauled in 10 receptions for 222 yards and a touchdown becoming the oldest receiver in NFL history to eclipse the 200-yard mark. The encore will be unremarkable. Prior to last week’s explosion, T.O. hadn’t reached 60 yards in a game. The workload is attractive – he’s averaged 12 targets per game, the second-highest tally in the league – but last week’s spectacular showing was an anomaly. Tampa’s Aquib Talib is a rising star who head coach Raheem Morris believes could soon enter the Revis, Asomugha, and Bailey class of corners. If he shadows Owens, the veteran could walk the plank. Remember only one wide receiver has surpassed the 70-yard mark against the Bucs this year. Change the channel.

Fearless Forecast: 4 receptions, 52 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 5 fantasy points

Larry Fitzgerald(notes), Ari, WR (Noise Week 5 WR Rank: 36, 94-percent started)
Matchup: vs. NO

Poor Larry. No receiver, no matter how talented or hydrated, can survive in Arizona. Once a fertile crescent of fantasy production under Kurt Warner’s(notes) direction, the desert has become a desolate statistical wasteland. Derek Anderson’s(notes) inability to hit the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man from 10-yards out has sullied the two-time Pro Bowlers reputation. With rookie Max Hall(notes) now at the helm, a rapid recovery isn’t likely. Aggressive Saints DC Gregg Williams is surely licking his chops. Because of Hall’s inexperience, he will undoubtedly crumble under the blitz barrage. Due to the green QB’s expected troubles and considering only one receiver has tallied 70-plus yards against New Orleans this season, Fitzgerald will likely vanish once again. Seek out other options even in 12-team leagues.

Fearless Forecast: 5 receptions, 44 receiving yards, 0 touchdown, 4 fantasy points

Possible WR alternatives: Lee Evans(notes) (vs. Jac), Steve Johnson(notes) (vs. Jac), Lance Moore(notes) (at Ari), Mario Manningham(notes) (at Hou), Danny Amendola(notes) (at Det), James Jones(notes) (at Wash), Santonio Holmes(notes) (vs. Min)

Other potential Week 5 Lames: Kyle Orton(notes) (at Bal), Jay Cutler (at Car), Michael Turner(notes) (at Cle), Ahmad Bradshaw(notes) (at Hou), DeAngelo Williams(notes) (vs. Chi), Randy Moss (at NYJ), Michael Crabtree(notes) (vs. Phi), Jason Witten(notes) (vs. Ten)

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Image courtesy of US Presswire

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