I Watched The First Episode Of "Squid Game" Because Everyone Keeps Talking About This Dude With The Red And Blue Card

🚨WARNING: Spoilers ahead, obvs.🚨

Hello, dear reader! Tis I! Back at it again with another "I watched this so you don't have to" post. For over a week now, I've been hearing multiple people talk about this show called Squid Game, so I decided to take a look!

Photo of me eating a pumpkin-shaped candy corn
Ehis Osifo / BuzzFeed

Right off the bat, I'll admit that I do not know a DAMN THING about this show. Is it a game show? A drama? A comedy? An aquatic documentary? Who's to say!

Fox / Comedy Central

So, even though no one asked, I decided to watch the first episode of the series and give you my thoughts anyway:

Before we jump in, here's the synopsis that Netflix gives for Squid Game:

Summary card for Squid Game

"Hundreds of cash-strapped players accept a strange invitation to compete in children's games. Inside, a tempting prize awaits — with deadly high stakes."

Netflix

Initial thought: I didn't know that this show was in Korean!! But I am HERE FOR IT! I love that a foreign show is getting all this buzz!

Golden Globes

Thirty seconds in and I can already do this:

A flashback of kids playing a game on top of a meme of Leo DiCaprio pointing at a screen
Netflix / Sony Pictures

This dude (aka Gi-hun, our protagonist) is tryna steal money from his mom's bank card! I am straight-up not rooting for this mans:

Gi-hun attempting to withdraw money from his mother's ATM card

Sadly, Gi-hun figured out the pin — it was changed from his birthday to his daughter, Ga-yeong's, birthday. The very daughter he should be out buying a present for and instead is using those funds to bet on the fuckin' ponies. SMH. I won't be mad if he dies.

Netflix

I am so mad Gi-hun won, but HOPEFULLY he uses his winnings to buy Ga-yeong a really nice birthday present:

Gi-hun collecting his winnings from the teller
Netflix

Gi-hun's bookies are chasing him for the money he owes — and, TBH, I don't condone gambling, but I'm not upset about this man getting his ass kicked — and while on the run, he bumps into this kid who I FEEL LIKE is going to come back into play:

A close-up of a young girl

You don't linger on someone like that for a one-off.

Netflix

I WAS RIGHT! The kid stole his money!

Gi-hun realizing he was robbed

Get ur bag, chile.

Netflix

OK, now I feel bad.

Gi-hun getting threatened by gangsters

This is terrifying.

Netflix

OK, they're giving him a month to get the funds, but sir, DON'T SIGN ANYTHING WITHOUT READING IT FIRST!

A close up of a contract

"Disclaimer of physical rights." THIS! IS! SUS!

Netflix

Ga-yeong is an icon and deserves a better father than Gi-hun:

Ga-yeong reading her dad to filth

Icons only. Also, quelle surprise, Gi-hun not only didn't get her a gift, but he couldn't even buy her the fried chicken that she wanted!

Netflix

THINGS ARE HAPPENING!!

A man asking Gi-hun if he wants to play a game

Gi-hun has a month to pay back these gangsters AND his mom! Not to mention he gave his daughter a shitty birthday, so methinks he's going to play this game and get some mula, baby!

Netflix

My mind immediately went to this. Just sayin':

Lionsgate

This seems sus...but I obvs want him to play because I gotta see how this pans out:

The man holding up two cards in Gi-hun's face

Red pill, blue pill.

Netflix

WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT READING BEFORE YOU SIGN SOMETHING?

The man asking Gi-hun about the contract he signed

Sure, you won money in a slap game, but now this stranger OWNS YOUR BODY, SON!

Netflix

Gi-hun is gonna play the ~mysterious~ game in order to win money to get his daughter back / keep her from moving to America with her mom and stepdad.

Gi-hun on the phone

I also assume paying off his debts has something to do with it too. But still, this is the most valiant thing he's done all episode.

Netflix

Holy shit. That is a lot of people participating in this game...

Gi-hun waking up in the dorm room for the players

There are 456 people to be exact.

Netflix

OMG, IT'S THE KID FROM EARLIER!

The kid confronting a man she's wronged

"I didn't run away — I just went independent." That's a baller line. But also, don't beat up a young girl.

Netflix

OK, we're getting some rules! Six games over the course of six days, and if you win, you get money...

The game makers explaining the rules to the players

...however, I don't think I'm going out on a limb when I say that there's NO WAY it's that easy.

Netflix

Awe, sookie sookie, now!

A screen of the players playing the "red card, blue card" game with the man

They're all desperate...which means they'll do anything to win.

Netflix

Another day — or rather, the same day — another signed contract without reading the fine print:

A closeup of a contract that says Clause 1: a player is not allowed to stop playing

This is ominous and is not going to end well.

Netflix

OK, game one is "Green Light, Red Light!" Seems easy enough! I used to play this game as a kid:

The game players getting ready to play their first game

I dont like that they're saying, if you lose, you'll be "eliminated." Like yeeted from the game...or yeeted from life???

Netflix

Yeeted from life, got it.

A woman screaming as she's covered in blood

Yeah...when you move, you don't get kicked out of the game; you die. After the first person died, they all tried to escape, which is against the rules because you can't move until you're allowed! Needless to say...a lot of people died.

Netflix

Big brother...or, I guess, big doll girl, is always watching:

Netflix

Work smarter, not harder. Hide behind someone so your movements can't be detected:

The kid hiding behind her adversary

I'm rooting for this girl.

Netflix

WAIT, WHO IS THIS MANS?

A stranger saving Gi-hun from death

He's a STRANGER and saved Gi-hun from a certain death. I take it back; I'm rooting for HIM.

Netflix

HOLY. SHIT. Again, I didn't know what I was getting into when I first started this show, but now ya girl is HOOKED! I will say, if gore isn't your thing, maaayyybeeee stay away from this one, but if you don't mind bloodshed and twisted mind games, then this is the show for you!

Netflix