Dennis Rodman is visiting the Vatican as it elects a new pope because … we’re not sure

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Kelly Dwyer
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It checks all the boxes on the things we don’t enjoy talking about – TMZ reports, religious hierarchy, Dennis Rodman’s sad descent – but we wouldn’t be doing our job if we didn’t relay the “news” that Dennis Rodman is heading to Rome to just sorta be around as the Vatican decides on the next pope.

Not to meet with anyone important or make a statement to any dignitaries or attempt to develop some sort of bond between the United States and the Vatican – I think we’re pretty in touch in that regard – just to, again, sorta hang out. Rodman, who famously visited North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un earlier this month, spoke with TMZ:

Rodman tells TMZ ... his "people" in Rome have been in touch with the muckety mucks at the Vatican and they're trying to arrange a sit-down with the next person to don the big funny hat.

Rodman -- who wants to be there when the white smoke fills the air -- is gambling just a bit, because the Cardinals are voting today and Rodman won't land until late tonight. But our top Catholic source -- Shevonne -- tells us ... it's unlikely anyone will get the nod on the first vote.

As for what Dennis wants to accomplish ... he tells TMZ, "I want to be anywhere in the world that I'm needed ... I want to spread a message of peace and love throughout the world."

(The Vatican has “muckey mucks,” now? Only in the 1990’s, guys!)

A “message of peace and love” is a good message to send, Dennis. If this weren’t a sad publicity showing, one I’m still confused about as to how it makes you money.

By the way, Dennis, the city in which you won three NBA championships could use that “message of peace and love” right now. Chicago is home to increasing and worrying gang violence, violence you desperately tried to avoid while growing up in a rough section of Dallas, and any bit of attention sent towards this worsening situation helps. And your presence, as a former Chicago Bull, would likely do far more good in talking some sense into people than a needless photo opportunity in the Vatican would. Just a suggestion, if you’re looking for more landing spots.

Or a spot that you could actually do some good in. Enjoy your holiday.

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