I mean, it's true, but you're not wrong, Kevin Durant and Chris Paul — it is definitely sort of weird that they're putting stuff like that in the programs these days. Even weirder than how they spell "programme" over there. I'm not sure knowing that Luol Deng's preferred style of dance music will mean much when Team USA takes on Great Britain on Thursday, but you never know, I guess. Weird stuff can happen in international play.
Then again, maybe KD and CP3 aren't scoping Lu's favorite power jams at all. What do you think they're reading about? Best caption wins a different kind of English beat. Good luck.
In our last adventure: Rookie Dion Waiters has a veteran's understanding of how to accept in-game coaching — don't look your coach in the eye, blankly stare off into the middle distance and wait for the talking sounds to stop, then just go play. Advanced!
Winner, Dane H: "The key to a good fish-hook is to go in with a straight finger, then bend. Best defense by far."
Runner-up, Mojo: Coach appraises the progress on day three of the Cavs' beard-growing competition.
NOTE: A time-honored tradition, to be sure. Waiters seems to have a long way to go, but if he's viewing this as a playoff beard, he's got a lot of time on his hands. Like, a couple of years before the Cavs contend for the playoffs, at least.
Second runner-up, Joshua: "I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you."
NOTE: Repeat ad infinitum.