It took 13 years, but Vince Carter seems to have finally gotten tired of people suggesting his game was just a bit too, let's say, "easy listening." Well, no matter what your take on Carter's past lack of killer instinct in big moments, I think we can all agree that few things are more metal than throwing stiff side kicks at every onrushing defender. That will, at the very least, create space for a jumper.
Sorry, Jared Dudley. You're BDL's boy and all, but personally, I've kind of always wanted to see a basketball player just walk around kicking everyone and see what would happen, like that scene in "Necessary Roughness." Finally, of all people, Vince Carter seems poised to make my dreams come true.
Best caption wins permission to kick it, granted this Friday by the Abstract, the Five-Footer and Mr. Muhammad. Good luck.
In our last adventure: A Russell Westbrook drive leaves three Phoenix Suns slack-jawed.
Winner, Isaac M: What everyone but the determined Westbrook realized, but no one had the heart to tell him, was that he had forgotten to put on pants.
Runner-up, Brad: Markieff Morris: "I'll get him, guys!"
Robin Lopez: "Don't touch him! ... [whispers] It's magnificent."
Second runner-up, The Football God: Beer and hard-boiled eggs make the best propellents.