Create-a-Caption: U BIRDMAD?

Of course you want to make an Angry Birds joke here. So did I, and so did Dwyer. But making the easiest joke is not what we do here. (NOTE: It is what we do here, but shut up.) We will aim higher. We will dig deeper. We choose to create captions in this blogspace and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard.

Chris Andersen(notes), "The Birdman," is upset. And you will tell me why. You WILL write brilliantly. And we will all share multiple laughs. Because this is the Internet, and also our independence day. Go to it, troops.

Best caption wins a free inspirational speech from yours truly that it is at least as good as the soul-stirring screed you just read. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Scottie Pippen is both a Doberman and a rifleman.

Winner, Orchard: "I'll teach you to sell me a busted-up airplane."

Runner-up, Mark M.: Scottie Pippen: "For Christmas, I want an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle!"

Man, laughing: "You'll shoot your eye out, kid!"

Second runner-up, KMH: "Do you call this thing a Wizard now?"

NOTE: This is included largely because it made me think of Gabe Delahaye asking "What does a wizard need with a gun?" in this wonderful episode of "Gabe & Max's 100 Seconds."

A Special Commendation in Ruling, Understanding and Participating in Jokes Division, goes out to our man John Knight, who offered up this sidesplitter:

This is a guy that wouldn't go into a game because the play was call for Kukoc. Remember he quit on his team in that game. Winning do make people forget.

Totally well-crafted joke that is squarely in the spirit of the Create-a-Caption contest, John! Well done!

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