Create-a-Caption: ‘I will *tell* you what the deal with Dirk’s beard is’

Come on to do some comedy, wind up getting actual answers to your set-up rhetorical questions. It's a tough spot to be in, Jerry Seinfeld, but at least you're getting to have a fun chat with Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban (you usually have to go to Sloan for that) and Jay Leno (you usually have to go to Vegas for that). The joke might not have landed the way you wanted it to, but that still seems like a reasonably fun time, I suppose.

Also, it's a .500 thing. Which, by the way, they're now just three wins away from, and just 2 1/2 games out of the eighth seed. It's like I've always said, man: Beards don't lie.

Best caption wins a wholly unnecessary "Seinfeld" drinking game. Use it responsibly, and good luck.

If you missed Cuban's appearance on "The Tonight Show" and would like to watch him discuss "Shark Tank," you can do so here.

In our last adventure: JOKEY DESCRIPTION OF LAST TIME.

Winner, Gordon: "That's where they're gonna hang my jersey ... right between Gilbert Arenas and Gheorghe Muresan."

NOTE: The Bullets/Wizards actually have four pretty legit retired numbers ... but they're from a loooooooong time ago.

Runner-up, Mad D: Martell Webster: "Look, white smoke! That means we have a new pope."

John Wall: "Nope. Just a disgruntled fan setting the roof on fire."

Second runner-up, Jodan: "See those seats? Only $1."

NOTE: And a steal at roughly 4 1/2 times the price!

A Special Commendation in Ruling, Close But No Cigar Division, goes to C-a-C stalwart The Devil, who commented thusly: Emeka Okafor points out several places that are NOT John Wall's "sweet spot."

Pros: Strong and funny reference to a recent Wizards story. Cons: That's Martell Webster, not Emeka Okafor. It's OK, though; it happens to the best of us. Just keep firing.

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