"Like, I know nobody has watched us play in about two years, and I don't expect everyone to know I'm shooting nearly 47 percent from the floor, 44 percent from 3-point range and 85 percent from the line this year, but ... I mean ... I won a ring! Remember? I mean, people still check Rasheed far away! There should be somebody in my neighborhood, right?" — Detroit Pistons forward Tayshaun Prince, probably.
Best caption wins a "Men in Black" Neuralyzer, so that you can strike Tayshaun's O-face from your memory (not really). Good luck.
In our last adventure: Rasheed Wallace describes something that may or may not be gross to J.R. Smith.
Winner, Larry B.: "You didn't hear this from me, but sometimes the ball DO lie."
Runner-up, Mad D: The awkward moment when Rasheed Wallace tells you that he thinks you take too many threes.
Second runner-up, Ds: Rasheed Wallace explains that he has no memory of anything he did during his two years of retirement.
A Special Commendation in Ruling, #JustExplainIt Division, goes to Scott, who offered a brief glimpse of a better world in which Sheed breaks it down for us all:
Sheed: "The fiscal cliff is a SERIOUS economic debacle, bruh."
Seriously, cable news networks: Employ Rasheed Wallace and Ronny Turiaf as your chief financial correspondents and watch ratings SKYROCKET. Just trust me on this. Please.