"Um, Coach, that doesn't seem like an 'assignment,' really. Like, it's just a comment about my face that really doesn't have anything to do with skill development, player evaluation or helping us win."
"Don't think too hard, rook. Just do what comes naturally — which is to look kind of like Jadakiss — because we don't want you taking on too much too soon."
Best caption wins signs of bad coaching. ("Instruction not exceeding comparing players' looks to those of members of The LOX" is a pretty good one.) Good luck.
In our last adventure: Houston Rockets rookie Terrence Jones is simply stunned.
NOTE: We appear to have had a slight hiccup in the commenting system on Monday, so a lot of responses showed up as written by "A Yahoo! User" rather than with a full username. The bad news is that our top two finishers will not receive total, proper credit. The good news is that many other people can pretend that they were the winners, giving everyone a good, winning feeling as they melt in the sun on Tuesday. Hooray!
Winner, A Yahoo! User: As he checks into the game, Terrance Jones is shocked to find himself playing alongside cardboard cutouts of Jason Richardson, Hedo Turkoglu and Dwight Howard.
Runner-up, A Yahoo! User: Terrence Jones drew the word "OMG" in the Summer Pro League charades contest. His team won.
NOTE: Call shenanigans on this one all you want, opponents, but if it's in the OED, it's A-OK.
Second runner-up, Yang: "This is as wide as my nostrils go, but I'm still not smelling this rat everyone is talking about. What does this have to do with Lin's offer sheet again?"