"So, you don't think I did such a great job of throwing out the first pitch at the Toronto Blue Jays/Oakland A's game this weekend? Well, I'm still the first Canadian ever chosen No. 1 overall in the NBA draft, so, y'know, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯" — Cleveland Cavaliers rookie Anthony Bennett, probably.
Best caption wins a brand new pair of hater blockers to deflect thrown shade (not really). Good luck.
In our last adventure: Kobe Bryant just realized he hasn't watched nearly enough film on ramen preparation.
Winner, Duncan: "What do you mean by 'pass' the salt?"
Runner-up, The Devil: Kobe Bryant quits basketball and takes up culinary school after reading a hacked Wikipedia page claiming that Michael Jordan was the greatest chef of all time.
Second runner-up, Jason : All these weeks later, Kobe still is not able to rid himself of the mental picture of Metta World Peace amnestying his jeans. It keeps him awake at night.