"Hey, don't tell anybody, but Jannero Pargo's on our team now. I think it's a secret, so keep it under your hat. Wouldn't want to spoil the element of surprise when we spring Jannero Pargo on unsuspecting opponents!"
Surely that's not the only nugget of information Charlotte Bobcats rookie forward Michael Kidd-Gilchrist could be sharing here. Unfortunately for him, he's telling them to us — the one group of commenting joke-writers you're not supposed to tell secrets to. (Sorry — "Almost Famous" has been on HBO recently.)
So what do you think the kid's letting slip? Best caption wins a Girl Talk Secret Diary, the perfect place for all MKG's secrets. Good luck.
In our last adventure: C'mon, JaVale McGee. Kevin Durant's plastic surgeon doesn't want him playing sports where balls fly at his nose. (PRETTY GOOD "CLUELESS" JOKE IN 2013!)
Winner, Art: McGee: "They say if the ball is bigger than your face, you have cancer."
Durant: "Really? Let me see."
Runner-up, The Devil: JaVale McGee makes another appearance on "Shaqtin a Fool" after he makes the odd mistake of trying to dunk into Kevin Durant's mouth.
Second runner-up, Curious George: And the refs still gave Durant two free throws ... to save face.
NOTE: Dad zings are the best.