C-a-C: ‘It’s shaped kind of like this, and the fish flip out of the water’

Ball Don't Lie

"No, for real, it's like the worst thing you've ever seen. It lights up and makes noise, and it's gonna happen every time they hit a home run. You gotta see the animation of what this thing will look like in motion. It's awful as hell, yo. Forget about the 'Miami' Marlins — always been a Jeff Conine man, always will be a Jeff Conine man.

"Hmm? What's that? Oh, hit me. ... 36? How the [EXPLETIVE] is that even possible?"

If that monstrosity in Miami can come to pass, then anything's possible, Tracy McGrady. (Also, the pit boss should probably take a look at that dealer.) It's hard to disagree with T-Mac on this one. Oh, well — at least he can rock the lid of his choice and set himself adrift on Renteria-fueled memories bliss.

Best caption wins some more T-Mac-related memories, both blissful and less so. Good luck.

In our last adventure: What's Deron Williams' secret for full, pouty lips? Wouldn't YOU like to know! (Lip plumper. It's Turkish lip plumper. Which, somehow, isn't a dirty phrase.)


Winner, Chillkreme43: "I ate 10 lollipops."

Runner-up, Solomon Grundy: After playing way too much "Street Fighter" during the lockout, Deron Williams attempts to throw the hadouken at his Turkish opponents.

Second runner-up, Brenda: "I'm ready to play some paper football. Hey, I wonder if they call it paper soccer over here?"

NOTE: This second runner-up brought to you (not really) by ProPaperFootball.com, which is a real Web site that exists (really).

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