C-a-C Past Lives: Somebody please get Kevin Garnett some water

Ball Don't Lie

Gotta get back in time ... Welcome to another edition of Create-a-Caption Past Lives. Confused beyond compare as to what this is? Then go revisit our humble beginnings to get kicked in the head by clarity, ya scamp!

I know he looks so happy -- he's been playing so much -- but seriously, look at his tongue. He is so dehydrated. Yes, he wants to keep running around, but if we don't make him drink, he'll hurt himself. It might not show up right away, or even physically, but at some point, he could just start to be ... not right.

"Not right how"? I don't know -- maybe he gets his wires crossed, starts thinking he's outside when he's inside, starts barking when he shouldn't. Could be a million things, but I'm not looking to find out, especially when we can just go get him some water. We just have to make him sit here for a minute and drink it. He's been playing for 46 minutes; it's time.

Seriously: Somebody please get Kevin Garnett some water. Please?

Best caption wins the Kevin Garnett dog T-shirt and Kevin Garnett dogtags you have been looking for, because you have to buy Christmas presents for people who are the worst. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Kevin Durant looks into the future. James Harden looks into the camera. What makes them different makes them great.


Winner, Jan Michael: Durant (whispering): "Dude, just hold it in! Just a few more minutes. Just look at the crowd. Pull yourself together, man."

Harden (whispering): "Man, I already got [EXPLETIVE] on my shorts, and I think it's starting to smell."

Runner-up, Al: James threatens to hold his breath until the NBA lockout is settled. Kevin just decides to get into a staring contest with himself on the Jumbotron.

Second runner-up, IndeedProceed: OK, guys, again ... this is supposed to be an "inspired but thoughtfully reflective" picture, so I'm gonna need you guys to look away from the camera and smile. No, away from the camera and smile. No, away from the ... no, see, away from the camera and ... no ... look at Kevin. Look at Kevin, James. Look at ... look at Kevin. OK. Now smile. Now smile. Turdburgers. Yeah ... there's my smile! Now I'm just gonna ...

Dammit. Dammit. OK, James, again, look at Kevin. No, I mean look at Kevin and see where he's looking and smiling at, and look and smile at those things. Look at ...

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