C-a-C: David Kahn takes the first step in overhauling the Timberwolves

Ball Don't Lie

"We've got our own website now. That's it. We've been meaning to buy one for years, but it was always sort of like, 'Man, do we really want to spend $10 for a year of domain hosting, which, I don't even really know what that is?' But Wednesday night, I was finally sort of like, 'What the hey, it's only 10 bucks, right?' So I got out my debit Visa and just did it. It felt great!

"We've got all kinds of stuff there. Like these little horizontal rectangular advertisements for Stadium Jerky, the only stadium-approved jerky, which is a partnership we're really excited about. And we think our fans are going to be excited about it, too. Moves like launching an Internet page and nailing down a jerky sponsorship, we think, will really help usher in the next generation of crushing, borderline-unwatchable Minnesota Timberwolves basketball.

"Please sign our guestbook."

Best caption wins the page that finally inspired David Kahn to make the leap, probably. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Some new-school general managers believe in using sabermetric analysis and advanced statistical modeling to improve their rosters. Unfortunately for Trevor Ariza, New Orleans Hornets boss Dell Demps believes in finishing school. Chin up, Trevor. We'll improve your posture yet!


Winner, The Football God: Summerstock. This is why Gibson and Burton only work with the skull.

Runner-up, Dane H: "That is the third fuzziest goatee I've ever felt."

Second runner-up, Robert C: ""Spit out the gum. Spit it out!"

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