Bryce Harper's deal with the Phillies made the internet lose its mind

Bryce Harper and the Philadelphia Phillies reportedly agreed on a 13-year, $330 million contract that could keep Harper in red pinstripes for the rest of his baseball career. The seemingly never-ending Bryce Harper free-agent sweepstakes is finally over, and not a moment too soon.

The internet essentially exploded when news of Harper’s deal broke. Four months of pent-up energy needed to be released, and released it was.

Philly athletes, both current and former, were thrilled to welcome a bona fide superstar to their ranks.

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Phillies pitcher Jake Arrieta was so happy about Harper he had to clean his house … while wearing nothing but fancy underwear.

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Phillies first baseman Rhys Hoskins, who got to know Harper during the 2018 Home Run Derby, was absolutely thrilled.

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Giants fans Smash Mouth took the news as well as any band could, because they know what one All-Star can be worth. (Get it?) (I’ll show myself out.)

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The length of the deal — 13 years — had a lot of people thinking creatively.

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And some Phillies fans just lost their minds.

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Of course, some people needed to apologize for things they said when they thought Harper was going to eschew Philadelphia for Los Angeles or San Francisco. There are many, but in this case the “they” is Angelo Cataldi, one of Philly’s signature sports-talk radio bloviators. Hours before the news of Harper’s contract broke, Cataldi tweeted this:

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Later that day, he felt a little differently! Gee, I wonder why?

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Not quite a full apology, but good enough. Of course, Harper might not feel that way. But he can deal with that when he gets to Philly.

The internet exploded when, after four long months, Bryce Harper finally made his free-agent choice. (Photo by Jonathan Newton / The Washington Post via Getty Images)
The internet exploded when, after four long months, Bryce Harper finally made his free-agent choice. (Photo by Jonathan Newton / The Washington Post via Getty Images)

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