Caroline Wozniacki, 2:37 p.m. ET, Tuesday, July 12, 2012:
Ooh, I love guessing games. Here goes:
Any prediction would be dependent on two variables. We'll presuppose that Caroline is the No. 1 seed in whatever Uno competition her and her friends are playing. The big question is how important is the tournament? If Caro and her friends are dealing out "draw twos" and "skips" while wearing white, sitting on a manicured, grass lawn and eating strawberries and cream? Or is this some B-list event in Copenhagen with a couple of spectators and not much on the line?
The limited characters available in a single Tweet don't afford us this information, so we'll have to make base our prediction on the known factors.
1. The winking, semicolon emoticon. We've seen it in prior Wozniacki Tweets to Rory McIlroy regarding Caro's 21st birthday and in #humblebrags about meeting Graeme McDowell. In other Tweets about eating at a Chinese restaurant, practicing with Stan Wawrinka and watching the royal wedding, Wozniacki has opted for the more dour, colon-based emoticon. Novak Djokovic received a special emoticon with a dash for a nose.
2. The use of "lol." Wozniacki has only used the popular Internet acronym four times in the past 50 days. In the spring, the world No. 1 was on a veritable "lol" binge, once using it twice in a single Tweet to Serena Williams.
The winking emoticon suggests that Caroline is feeling playful or engaging in an online chat with a US Open-winning golfer. Her use of "lol" is far more mysterious. Since failing to win the French Open and Wimbledon, her tendency to laugh out loud mid-Tweet has fallen off. Has UNO brought her back to her winning ways? Or is she overcompensating for another disappointing loss? And isn't it against the rules to use your phone in the middle of an UNO game?
Maybe we've overanalyzed this, but I doubt it. There are so many factors at play that it'd be unfair to give full consideration to each. Weighing them all, it is Busted Racquet's projection that Caroline Wozniacki won her UNO game. Then she played four smaller UNO tournaments later in the day to prepare for the big UNO tournament tomorrow.